‘If Saffy goes on too much about dating apps, you know you can tell her to button it,’ Paulette said.
I laughed. ‘It’s fine. I’m just not ready, especially after what happened today…’
Paulette sipped on her tea as I filled her in on Will’s appearance in the shop.
‘What do you think the complications could be?’ she asked.
‘I’m not sure. I wondered if it could be a messy divorce. He wasn’t wearing a ring. If he’d been widowed, I think he’d have shared that after I told him I was. There was a vulnerability about him which there hadn’t been twenty years ago so I think that, whatever it is he’s going through, it’s big. Of course, his dad’s passed away recently as that’s why I’m making the bears but if it was connected to that, surely he’d have said.’
‘You could tie yourself in knots speculating,’ Paulette said. ‘Do you wish you’d asked for his number?’
I pondered that for a moment before shaking my head. ‘I think it’s best I can’t get in touch with him because, if I could, I’d want to and it would probably push him away. If he doesn’t get in touch, that’s his right, especially after I ran out on him. He said he needs time and, if anyone understands that, it’s me. If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.’
‘But you want it to be,’ she said, her voice soft.
I didn’t need to think about it. Seeing him again today had confirmed everything I’d believed over the past two decades.
‘As much now as I did twenty years ago. Probably more. I know it’s a strong statement to make but I can’t help thinking that it’s Will or nobody.’
41
On the Friday evening of the following week, The Crafty Crew went out for a meal in Keswick to celebrate our first four weeks of trading. Saffy had been invited but Felix had asked her out on another date so, understandably, she’d ditched us for him. We were seated at a round table and, after our drinks arrived, Veronica led us in a toast.
‘Congratulations to us all on a wonderful start to our pop-up shop. Created With Love seems to have gathered a lot of love from both tourists and the local community so far and I, for one, am delighted to have some storage space back at home.’
We all laughed and threw in our agreement.
‘It’s nice being in my workshop without dozens of wooden animals staring at me,’ Christian said.
‘There’s something else I wanted to add,’ Veronica said when the laughter and chatter died down. ‘A huge thank you to you all for how supportive you’ve been during an exceptionally difficult couple of months for me. I have an update.’
She glanced at Laughlin and he gave her what appeared to be an encouraging nod.
‘It feels a little uncomfortable holding an audience about my personal life but, as my business partners and good friends, I do want you to know what’s been happening and it’s perhaps a little easier to get it all out in one go rather than having several individual conversations. Is that all right with you all?’
There were murmurs of agreement coupled with reassurances that she didn’t need to tell us anything that made her uncomfortable.
‘I knew you’d all be lovely about it, but I think it’s only fair that you have the full picture. There’s still a lot to be resolved with Rebecca and Felicity and I’m going to need some time away from the business to do that. As you already know, it was my youngest, Felicity, who discovered what was going on…’
Veronica shared that a party had been held at the army base in Germany to celebrate her fortieth birthday. Felicity had been twelve at the time, Rebecca had recently turned sixteen and the sisters were close with just the occasional bout of sisterly bickering, mainly caused by Rebecca pulling rank as the eldest. After spilling a drink down her top, Felicity had told Rebecca she was going home to change and it was there that she found their dad with another woman, although she didn’t see who. She ran back to the party to find Rebecca and ask her what to do. Rebecca had always been a daddy’s girl and didn’t believe her so Felicity dragged her back to the house to see for herself. As they drew close, the door opened and they ducked behind a wall, spotting their dad and the woman coming out and sharing a kiss. Both girls recognised her as Anita Westwood – the wife of another senior officer.
‘Felicity wanted to tell me that night,’ Veronica said, ‘but Rebecca convinced her not to ruin my birthday. Felicity reluctantly agreed as long as they told me the next day. The next day, Rebecca asked Felicity to give her a bit longer to think. She wanted to get the timing right but how is the timing ever going to be right for news like that?’
‘A difficult position for your girls to be in,’ Milly said.
Veronica nodded. ‘Absolutely! I don’t envy either of them for that, especially at such a young age. They debated confronting Carson and getting him to come clean but the more time that passed, the more aware they became of hiding a huge secret, and the harder it became to say anything. Felicity remained adamant that I needed to know but Rebecca told her I wouldn’t stand for it and we’d divorce. Felicity claims that Rebecca told her it would be all her fault if we did. Rebecca claims she said no such thing. Either way, the difference of opinion on something so enormous drove a wedge between them. Felicity admitted she never saw Carson and Anita in a compromising position again but she said it was obvious from the looks they gave each other that there was something still going on.’
‘For how long?’ Paulette asked.
Veronica shrugged. ‘We returned to the UK fourteen years ago. I was forty-nine then and, for all I know, it could have been going on for the whole of my forties. Anita was at our previous base too and we knew her from the UK before that. They could have been seeing each other for the whole of our marriage – the whole of our relationship, even.’
The last part of the sentence was delivered with a croaky voice as Veronica blinked back tears, apologising for getting emotional. Laughlin gave her hand a squeeze and we all offered our condolences. I was devastated for her.
Veronica took a sip of her drink before continuing. ‘I had questions – many, many questions, as I’m sure you can imagine. It didn’t take long to track down Anita. She was back in the UK and I was all for getting in touch with her and demanding she tell me the details but Laughlin helped me look at the downsides of doing that. If I spoke with Anita on the phone or in person, she could say anything she liked. She could tell me that Carson never loved me and that he wanted to leave me for her. Truth or lie, where would it get me? Carson isn’t around to corroborate or deny anything.’
She glanced at Laughlin who took over. ‘I’m convinced that the only reason I was able to accept and move on from Noreen’s affair was because she was there to answer questions and we had a professional to guide us through them. Vee wouldn’t have that and I was worried it would do her more harm than good.’
‘He was right,’ Veronica said. ‘Up until my birthday this year, my memories of my marriage were happy. I’ve taken the rose-tinted glasses off and I can see now that it wasn’t perfect but it was still good. I’m shocked and saddened that my husband must have felt differently to me, but I can’t change that so why torture myself with hurtful details? I’m going to focus on what Icancontrol which is building bridges with my daughters. That can’t be done effectively over the phone or a video chat so I’m planning to go to Scotland first to spend some quality time with Felicity then Germany to do the same with Rebecca. I’m not planning to stay with either of them. We need to have some honest, difficult discussions and I think we’ll all need the space. It’s bound to be upsetting so Laughlin has offered to accompany me as my emotional crutch.’
