As I closed and locked the door behind him, I hung my head, cringing. How awful had that been? I sincerely hoped there’d be no awkwardness between Christian and me going forwards. Imagine if I ruined things for the rest of The Crafty Crew. I trudged back up the stairs, cursing my stupidity. At least one positive thing had come out of it. Even though my mind had raced ahead imagining the kiss progressing, my heart hadn’t. I hadn’t felt anything when I kissed Christian, confirming that I didn’t want to be with him in a romantic way. Had him being dripping wet triggered my memories of being caught in that torrential downpour with Will? It was the only logical explanation for acting so irrationally. I just hoped we could move on from it.
37
The following morning, I was spending some time with Trevor when a message came through from Christian.
From Christian
Morning! I’ve been to the flat and fitted you a new tap which is working fine. I’ve also cleaned the paint trays. See you tonight
‘It’s lovely of him,’ I told Trevor, ‘but it sounds to me like he couldn’t face seeing me. What do you think?’
‘Feed me!’ he responded so I passed him a piece of grape.
‘I don’t know if I can face Emma and Killian’s engagement party.’
‘Party!’
‘I don’t want to put a dampener on Emma’s special night if things are awkward between her dad and me. It’s a shame because Milly was really looking forward to it.’
I didn’t know what to do for the best. I’d invited Milly as my plus one as I’d wanted to cheer her up after the non-reaction from Harry about the divorce. She’d understand if I cancelled but I’d felt bad about it for her and for Emma. It had been really kind of her and Killian to invite me.
‘Visitor!’ Trevor cawed and I looked up to see Christian walking up my drive holding a bunch of flowers.
‘I wasn’t expecting to see you today,’ I said when I opened the door.
‘These are for you,’ he said, passing me the flowers. ‘They’re to say sorry.’
‘Sorry? You did nothing wrong. I’m the one who owes you the apology.’
‘Believe me, you don’t. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my behaviour around you over the past month or so and I’ve said and done things which, on reflection, were misleading. It was never my intention.’
I smiled at him. ‘I’m off to the hairdresser’s in twenty minutes but I’ve time for a quick cuppa if you’d like one.’
‘I’d love one.’
Twenty minutes was ample time to clear the air. It transpired that Christian hadn’t had any strong female friendships since his schooldays and that, accompanied by his limited dating experience since Kathryn died, meant he’d struggled with reading signals and with where to draw the line. I could relate to that and we both admitted to being a little embarrassed by that considering our ages but agreed that age didn’t necessarily come with wisdom about absolutely everything, especially matters of the heart.
‘It might have been easier if I’d made it clear from the start that I was only looking for friendship,’ Christian said, ‘but the truth is, I didn’t know what I was looking for. You’re an attractive woman, Yvonne, and I enjoy spending time with you. I wasn’t sure whether that was as a friend or something more.’
‘Same here. It felt like there should be something between us and I guess that kiss was to see whether there was, but…’
When I scrunched my nose up, he nodded. ‘If the chemistry isn’t there, it isn’t there and you can’t force it.’
‘Agreed.’
Christian drained the last of his tea. ‘I’d better let you get to the hairdresser’s but thanks for listening and understanding. Friends?’
I smiled widely. ‘Friends.’
‘I will see you at the engagement party tonight?’ he asked as I walked him to the door.
‘Yes. I was toying with dipping out as I didn’t want things to be awkward but I’ll definitely be there now.’
‘Good. Emma would kill me if she discovered you weren’t there because I’d messed up.’
‘Let’s say we both messed up but it’s sorted now and we’re friends and business partners.’
He ran back across to his house and I grabbed my bag and set off to the hairdresser’s in the village centre, feeling thankful that no lasting damage had been done between Christian and me and also relieved that things had come to a head. It had been confusing for a while, thinking I maybe liked him but not being quite sure, and it sounded like he’d felt the same. But at least I’d tried. I’d never have done that a few months ago.
