‘How did he react to that?’ I asked, giving her a sideways glance, impressed by her no-nonsense approach.
‘He told me Joanne’s a complex woman and I don’t understand so I told him he was right, I don’t. I don’t understand why he’d let her speak to me like that when we’ve always enjoyed a great relationship full of love and respect and I particularly don’t understand why he’d let her destroy their relationship with their only daughter, especially over something that was making her miserable.’
‘Good for you,’ Milly said from the back seat.
‘I didn’t like having to lay it out there but he needed to hear it. I’ve no idea what thecomplex womanthing was all about – sounds like an excuse to me and I told him that too. I saidif she has some mental health issues, I’m sympathetic to that, but it’s the first I’ve heard of it and it doesn’t excuse what she’s doing to Saffy. The girl dropped out of university, for goodness’ sake. She didn’t rob a bank or murder anyone!I don’t want Andrew to hate me but I’ll gladly take that hit if it gets him to see sense about Saffy.’
I was in awe of the way Paulette continued to stand up for Saffy and fight her corner, no matter what it cost her personally. What a privilege to have a friend like that.
We arrived in Carlisle and they were both keen to join me at Celestial Sounds but said they’d understand if I preferred to do it on my own, knowing I might not want an audience while I tested out the pianos. It was so kind of them to acknowledge that, but I wanted them with me.
Celestial Sounds was completely different to Pianos of Distinction. It was inside a converted church – presumably the inspiration behind the name – and there were so many nods to its heritage. The pipes for the church organ remained and had been beautifully restored although the owner, Mervyn, told us that the organ had regrettably been removed and destroyed before their time. Beneath the pipes, a plinth had been created for a beautiful white grand piano. The backs of the pews had been made into shelving units housing music books for sale in the spaces where hymn books would have been, and a couple of the windows were stained glass although they’d clearly been purpose-made more recently as they depicted musical notations and piano keys.
There were several beautiful upright pianos and, although it had been great playing the one in Pippinthwaite Village Hall, the sound from the first piano I played in Celestial Sounds was far superior, partly due to the quality and condition of the instrument and partly due to the exceptional acoustics in the former church.
After I’d played my first piece, I turned to my friends. Milly was bouncing on the spot clapping frantically and, although Paulette was clapping too, she had tears in her eyes and I knew why. She knew my story. She knew why I’d stopped playing.
‘I knew you’d be good,’ Milly said, ‘but that was off the chart.’
‘It was exceptional,’ Paulette agreed. ‘There’s something about your playing I can’t put my finger on.’
‘Oh, I can,’ Mervyn said. ‘It’s the difference between a good pianist and a great one. A good pianist is technically gifted, playing the piece with precision – exactly as it’s written. A great pianist does that but they also feel the piece. They read between the lines, quite literally, interpreting the music with their heart rather than just their brain. Your friend does that.’
I smiled at him, grateful for such kind feedback, but I also felt a jolt of sadness as it had strong echoes of what Will had said about my playing.
‘Please try as many as you like,’ Mervyn said. ‘It’s a pleasure to hear such beautiful playing.’
I moved to the next piano and played another classical piece before asking Milly, Paulette and Mervyn if they had any requests, playing each on a different instrument. When I was done, I’d narrowed it down to two favourite pianos and asked Mervyn if he’d mind me coming back after lunch to make my final decision.
‘Before you go for your lunch, I know you’re not looking for a grand piano but you’re more than welcome to give our showcase grand a play.’ He swept his arm towards the white grand piano.
As Mervyn ran through the details, I gazed up at it looking spectacular on its plinth beneath the colourful organ pipes. I’d regret it if I didn’t but, as I lowered myself onto the piano stool and poised my fingers over the keys, I found myself glancing towards the door, half expecting Will to come in. Perhaps if I played the same piece I’d first played on the grand piano in Pianos of Distinction – Mozart’s ‘Turkish March’ – I could somehow conjure him. The door opened at one point and my heart leapt but it was a young couple who paused by the doorway to listen. It opened again a little later, but it was only a postal worker who waved a couple of envelopes in Mervyn’s direction and placed them on the side before leaving. No Will, obviously.
* * *
‘I’m still in shock about your unbelievable talent,’ Milly said as we settled into a booth after we’d placed our orders for a pub lunch a little later. ‘Here was me making out that I’m good on the recorder and I sound like a total amateur compared to you.’
‘Ah, but I can’t play the recorder!’
Milly laughed. ‘I’d trade my recorder skills for your piano ones any day.’
‘It was a privilege to hear you playing,’ Paulette said. ‘I’m glad you’ve returned to it.’
‘You kept looking over to the door while you were playing that grand piano,’ Milly said and my stomach lurched. Had I made it that obvious? ‘How did you manage to keep playing seamlessly?’
I glanced at Paulette and, evidently reading the question in my mind, she gave me an encouraging nod.
‘It’s a bit like touch-typing,’ I said, answering Milly’s question. ‘My fingers know what they’re doing. But there’s a reason I was looking at the door…’
I shared with Milly the same details I’d shared with Paulette about Cliff and about Will. I valued all my new friends so highly and didn’t want to have secrets with some and not others. While I didn’t see quite as much of Veronica or Laughlin, I would eventually tell them when the moment felt right. Milly’s reaction was exactly what I’d expected from her – a mixture of surprise and empathy. It struck me that, just a couple of months ago, I wouldn’t have imagined me sharing my past with any of my Cake & Craft Club friends but everything had changed this year. As well as feeling lighter for telling them and for not getting a negative reaction, I felt steadily more confident about the future and placing even more ticks against the entries in my journal. Including finding love again.
After we’d eaten, I told them about my meal at Christian’s. I’d returned the favour a couple of nights ago and it had been a great evening which had ended, once more, in a kiss on the cheek from him, leaving me confused as to his intentions.
‘I’m so clueless,’ I said. ‘Does a kiss on the cheek suggest he’s interested or is he just being friendly?’
‘I’d say probably interested,’ Paulette said, but the use of the wordprobablyand the catching of her lip with her teeth suggested she wasn’t convinced.
Milly shrugged. ‘How did you leave it? Any plans to get together again?’
