Stop it.
I hit the dummy harder. The post cracked.
Shit.
I stepped back, breathing hard, examining the damage. A split ran down the leather wrapping, exposing the wood underneath. Great. I'd have to report this, explain why I'd destroyed training equipment.
"Rough morning?"
I spun. Terra stood at the entrance to the training grounds, her red hair pulled back in a practical braid. She looked put together, competent, every inch the Warrior Lord's mate.
Something bitter twisted in my chest.
"Just working out some frustration," I said.
Terra's gaze flicked to the damaged dummy, then back to me. One eyebrow rose. "I can see that."
She crossed the space between us, moving with the easy confidence she'd always had but that seemed sharper now. More Drakarn. Her boots made soft sounds against the stone floor.
"Want a sparring partner?" she asked. "It might be more satisfying than beating up a bit of wood."
I knew I should say no. I was already wound too tight, my control fraying at the edges. But the alternative was going back to my quarters and staring at the ceiling, waiting for exhaustion to claim me.
"Sure."
We moved to the sparring circle, a ring of smooth stone designed for hand-to-hand combat. Terra stretched, rolling her shoulders, loosening her neck. I mirrored her movements, feeling the pull of tired muscles.
We circled each other. Terra moved first, testing my defenses with a quick jab. I blocked, countered with a low kick she sidestepped. We traded blows, neither landing anything significant. Warm-up.
Then I stopped pulling my punches.
My fist connected with her ribs. She grunted, twisted, swept my legs. I hit the mat hard, rolled, came up in a crouch. She was already there, driving a knee toward my face. I caught it, shoved her back.
We broke apart, breathing harder.
"What's going on with you?" Terra asked.
"Nothing."
"Bullshit."
I lunged. She met me halfway. We grappled, strength against strength, technique against technique. I got an arm around her neck, she drove an elbow into my kidney. Pain bloomed, sharp and clarifying. I released her, staggered back.
"Lexa."
"I said I'm fine."
"You're not fine. You've been wound tighter than a spring for weeks."
I wiped sweat from my face. "Maybe I'm just tired of sitting around doing nothing while everyone else has a purpose."
Terra's expression softened. Wrong reaction. I didn't want sympathy.
"You have a purpose," she said.
"Do I? What, exactly, am I contributing here? I can't heal people. I can't improve their systems. I blow things up. That's what I do. And there's nothing here that needs blowing up."
"You're more than the job you had back home."
