“You do, don’t you?” Ellie pushed.
“It’s all good, E,” Cassidy said, playing cool.
“But, Cass…”
Cassidy’s exasperation had a limit. He loved his little sister, but he didn’t want to discuss this with her.“She’s afraid of me, E! And Iain’t talking about no metaphorical bullshit; like, she’s afraid I’ma break her heart. She thinks I will harm her. She thinks I’m violent. She sees a murderer when she looks at me.”
Ellie’s eyes watered. He was so much more. The measurement of his manhood was so much greater than his biggest sin.
“So just leave it alone,” Cassidy said, as he disappeared inside the house.
The smell of sweet potato pie warmed the air, and the sound of laughter bounced from wall to wall as the Whitlock family gathered for Christmas Eve.
“Ellie, girl, you skin and bones. You need to move back home so Auntie can teach you some of these family recipes. All that gluten-free, vegan, no meat Mondays mess you be posting got you rail thin.”
Leave it up to an elder to talk about a bitch weight. Ellie took it in stride, smiling.“I know the recipes, Auntie. I just try to make better choices. You know high blood pressure run all up and through this family,” Ellie replied.
“Well, one plate ain’t gon’hurt you,” Bishop said, handing her a piping hot plate.
She laughed, and her mouth watered because she was going to tear this plate down and regret it later.
There were so many people in the house that there weren’t enough places to sit, so Ellie sat on the living room floor. She missed this so much. The rambunctiousness of family. The feel of home. Her cousins were playing Spades in the dining room. The kids were in the backyard enjoying Tessa’s new tree house. The teenagers were in the den making TikTok videos. Cassidy chopped it up with his father and the old heads. She was sure at least one argument would break out over dominos or Spades, the teenagers would be trying to get dropped off somewhere, and one of the babies would hurt themselves before the end of the night, but it was all a part of a family holiday. It was a good, ghetto time. She couldn’t believe she had allowed her shame to keep her from her roots for so long. This was the one place where she felt like she belonged. It was full of memories. Her mother’s spirit dwelled within these walls, and as she looked around, she could almost hear her mom’s laughter. The doorbell rang, and Bishop summoned her from the table.
“Baby girl, can you get that? I’m about to whoop on your old-ass uncle over here,” Bishop called out.
Ellie climbed from the floor, balancing the plate in one hand.“I know youain’t gon’take that,Unc?”
“Your daddy all talk,” her uncle defended. Ellie made her way to the front door, not even bothering to check the peephole because anyone knocking on this door on Christmas Eve was family. Except him.
“What are you doing here?” Ellie asked, face souring at the sight of Cairo. He ruined her appetite instantly.
“Can we talk?” Cairo asked.
“What do we have to talk about?” Ellie asked.
“Please, Ellie,” Cairo said.“The girls here? Can I see them?”
“Nigga, no,” Ellie stated. She pulled the first coat she saw off the coat rack and set the plate down on the hutch by the door before sliding out into the cold night air.“You’ve got five minutes.”
Cairo blew out a breath, and the cold air formed a cloud in front of his mouth. He looked stressed, pained even, as he scratched the top of his head, searching for words.
“Four minutes,” Ellie said, counting down.
“Your attorney sent a letter of representation. You hired a divorce attorney?” Cairo asked. The audacity behind his question was comical. She didn’t even answer. She just stood there, staring at him. She couldn’t even recall what she had ever seen in him. The shit she had accepted from him felt idiotic now. She was disgusted at herself for even participating.
“You don’t think that’s a little drastic? Why the sudden rush to file?” Cairo asked.
“You left me four years ago. What’s rushed about it?” Ellie asked, disinterested.
“Ellie, come on.It’s our marriage,” Cairo stated.
Ellie laughed. She cackled. An insulting, deep down in her gut, brought tears to her eyes hoot. This shit had to be a fucking joke.
“I’m serious, Ellie. I want to come home. I’m sorry about the way I’ve moved in this marriage. I’m sorry about the hurt I’ve caused you. I want to be a father to Brook. I want to be the father Tessa deserves. I fucked up, bad, Ellie, and I just kept digging the hole deeper. It felt easier to just start over instead of trying to fix it with you, but you being here, this close... Sloan said some things when she picked Brook up the other day, and I just…I don’t know…it got me to thinking. I was wrong. I just want to fix my family. I want you, and I want our girls.”
It was the apology Ellie had waited years to hear.
“You really want to give up our entire family? You want to put the nail in the coffin without at least trying to make it work?”
