Courtney sat at the bar, waiting impatiently as she scrolled through her social media timeline. Shy had quickly become a social butterfly in this room, but Courtney was more reserved. James hadn’t arrived yet, and she was beginning to wonder if he was going to show up at all. She turned toward the man beside her. The compliment was rare. She was the friend in the friend group who never took center stage. Her self-esteem had always been an issue. She had come up when people thought,“Oh, she’s pretty for a dark-skinnedgirl,” was a compliment and not an insult. Everyone around her had always commented about her appearance. Her grandmother had given her a complex about her hyper-pigmented skin. Her elbows and knees were always too dark. Her hair was always too short and nappy, and her body was always too thin. It wasn’t even society that had ingrained unrealistic beauty standards on her, her complex for what was deemed beautiful came from the hood. The phrase, “It be your own folks,” had never rang truer. Courtney had made some very damaging decisions in her formative years, chasing love and acceptance. It was how she had fallen for James in the first place. While boys her age had called her ugly her whole life while praising all the light-skinned girls on the block, James had come into her life and told her she was beautiful. He had showered her with attention, but as a teen, she didn’t recognize that he was sexualizing her before her time. He always told her she looked sweet.“The darker the berry, the sweeter the juice,” he would say. She remembered him spending the first three months of their relationship, sneaking her to hotel rooms and going down on her. She was fourteen years old when they met. He was 24, and the things he exposed her to made her feel a mixture of power, dirtiness, euphoria, and shame. The first time he went down on her, she remembered the orgasm had blown her mind, but she had gone a week avoiding his calls afterward out of pure confusion and embarrassment. He caught her on her way to school one morning and convinced her to get in the car with him so he could apologize. His form of apology was oral sex. He turned Courtney out before she was even old enough to understand why it felt so good, and her virginity was given freely. She was pregnant before she hit tenth grade. James got a job in construction, and it paid more than either of them were used to. He took care of her and their son, upgraded her wardrobe, sent her to the hair salon weekly, and bought her gold rings and necklaces. Suddenly, the dark-skinned girl who nobody saw as beautiful was the most popular chick her age on the block. Having her first son at a young age thickened her out, and she had been known as“that bad-ass young chick James got pregnant.” Those moments stuck to her like glue. She revisited the history of their relationship in her mind often. Sometimes, it brought her to tears. Sometimes, it brought laughter. Today, as this random man stood next to her in his fancy suit and hopeful eyes as he shot his shot, it made her feel resentful. Courtney didn’t have a history of dating. She had only experienced one man. She had given up her entire youth to commit to James and their family, only for them to end up miserable together. She didn’t necessarily see herself as a victim. Sure, he was older than her, but she justified it in her mind that it was just how things were back in the day.I was a willing participant, she thought. She hadn’t grasped the fact that she was groomed. So many women couldn’t see their own victimization at the hands of men who had plucked them from the vine too early.
“You care to finish that sentence?” she asked, giving a half-hearted smile.
“I was going to say beautiful, but it doesn’t even describe you. I saw you all the way across the room, and it took me ten minutes to work up the nerve to come speak.”
She frowned.
“Laying it on kind of thick,aren’t you?”
“Not even a little,” the man replied. He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.“I would shake your hand, but my palms are sweaty. I’m Harlow.”
“Courtney,” she replied shortly.
“You work for the company?” Harlow asked.
She shook her head.“No, I was invited by an employee, but it looks like I’ve been stood up,” she replied, shrugging.
“It’s crazy that someone who looks like you would even assume that,” Harlow said, chuckling.“The poor guy probably caught a flat tire or something.”
“Yeah, poor guy,” Courtney replied sarcastically.
“Can I buy you a drink?” Harlow asked.
“It’s an open bar,” Courtney answered, smiling.
“See, I’mnervous,” Harlow chuckled, wiping his sweaty palms against his designer slacks. She smiled.“Okay, how about this? Can I join you and have a few minutes of your time? Maybe after a freaking drink, I might be able to form a sentence that doesn’t come out all fucked up and weird.”
Courtney laughed and nodded her head in compliance.
“Let’s give it a try.”
“Thanks for cutting me a break,” Harlow answered.“I’m afraid my brother got all the luck with the girls. I’ve always been his geeky sidekick.”
“Who’s your brother?” Courtney asked, laughing.
“Loyal Brier. He owns the company,” Harlow stated.“That guy right there.” Harlow pointed to Loyal, and Courtney nodded.
“He invited my friend, Ellie. Small world,” Courtney shot back. Courtney took Harlow in. His presence was easy, a little quirky, but enjoyable still. His tree bark-colored skin made Courtney want to see his mother because she had birthed two different shades of melanin, and she couldn’t help but wonder what their creator looked like. The one thing that matched were those signature dimples. When he smiled, they pushed into his cheeks deeply.
“What can I get you?” he asked.
“French 75,” she replied.
He motioned for the bartender, and Courtney watched curiously.
“Hey, my man, what’s your name?” Harlow asked.
“Jake,” the bartender replied.
“Good to meet you, Jake. Can I get a French 75 and a Coke for me,” he ordered.
“Right away, sir,” the bartender spoke.
“No sir necessary. That’s for Loyal. Just Harlow is fine,” he said, smiling graciously as he removed a money clip from his pocket and placed a generous tip on the bar top.
His confidence was loud but not overwhelming. He handled people with authority but also with respect. Courtney took notes in her head.
“Just a Coke?” she asked.
