“This is my life!” She shouted, cutting him off. He had the patience of Job because he just stood there calmly and let her get her shit off. He didn’t feed into the argument, he didn’t match her energy, he didn’t take offense. He was a man who knew how to let a woman release without being reactionary.“I don’t know if I feel like a challenge to you or you want to conquer me! Or you just used to motherfuckers bending to your will because of your status and your money, but if you ever make my daughters a promise you have no intention of keeping again, I will take my father’s shotgun and blow your Goddamn head off your shoulders!”
Ellie held her stomach in excruciation as she sobbed.“Why would he just abandon her like this?” she cried. She covered her mouth with one hand and reached out and leaned against her mother’s car as she sobbed. Her words weren’t even meant for him; her frustration was toward the bitch-ass nigga who had put her in this position. She hoped Loyal knew. These were stray bullets not meant for him.
He walked up to her and pulled her into his arms, and Ellie hid beneath his tall body.
“You swear like a sailor, E,” he whispered.“I swear you Bishop’s daughter like amu’fucka. I mean, damn, you just cursed me smooth out. I ain’t even know somebody so pretty could talk so ugly.”
She went from tears to laughter in the blink of an eye and then back to tears as he palmed the back of her head, massaging her scalp as he allowed her to get it out.
“I don’t say shit I don’t mean, Elliot,” he said as she leaned back and looked up at him.“I don’t promise shit to kids and then fall through. Only person don’t believe that Daddy’s coming home is you.”
She both loved and hated his finesse because it felt so good, but it also came with red flags, because how could he promise these things without knowing her?
“This is irresponsible, Loyal. It’sdangerous,” she whispered.“It was fun when you were just playing with my head, but you’re playing with my kids. I’m terrified of this.”
“I’m sorry,” he stated.“It’s going to take you a little longer to accept what I already know. I’lllet you set the pace, but we gon’end up in the same place, E. Trust me. Fight against whatever guards that nigga made you build to let me love you. If you want me to prove it, then I’m willing to do that.”
“What happens when I leave?” she asked.
“You’re not leaving,” he replied.“This is your home. This is where your friends are. Your family. Your mother’s memory. Your man,” he said, lifting her chin and nudging her face with his.
She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest, and he said,“The days of you doing everything alone and being filled with panic are over for you, E. Whatever you need, whenever you need it, that’s on me. Life is about to get real soft for you. Trust that.”
“How do you handle me so well? How did you handle that conversation with Tess so well? You’re like medicine, Loyal. My every interaction with you feels unnatural; like, it’s not real. Like, it’s adream. I’ve been fighting for peace for four years since that man left us, and you come along, and you just feel like rest. You give me the same feeling I get when I take off my bra after a long day or when I pull my feet out of five-inch heels after suffering all night. You just feel like relief. I don’t even know you, and a simple hello in my brother’s lounge feels like it’s about to change my life. Sometimes, you don’t know what to do with peace when you’ve become used to war for so long. Why are you applying so much pressure when you can clearly pick an easier woman with an easier circumstance? It feels like you’re gaming me.”
“Niggas done fucked up so much with women that chemistry feels like game. You’re defensive and mean and bitter and broken, and Iain’t scared of none of that shit,” Loyal stated.
“Can we please just be careful about what we pull our kids into? Pull me into the deep end, go ahead, but there are kids involved, Loyal. Yours included, which we haven’t even talked about yet. Please, just consider that this is complicated,” she whispered.
“Know that I’m a man that considers everything, but okay. I hear you,” he responded.
He kissed her lips, lingering long enough to leave her reeling before pulling away. He grabbed her hand and led her back into the house.
“Told you she wasn’t going to shoot him, Papa,” Tessa giggled as soon as they stepped back inside the house.
“Shit, your grandmama would have shot me,” Papa stated.
Loyal snickered, and Ellie shook her head.
“Be nice to him, Mommy,” Tessa said as Ellie bent down to pick up her daughter. Tessa hugged her neck so tightly.
“I will, baby,” Ellie promised.“Okay, time for Christmas tree shopping.”
“Y’all go ahead, I’ma rest these old bones. I’llbe here when you get back with some hot chili and homemade cornbread,” Papa stated.“Vegetable chili for you, baby girl.”
Papa kissed Ellie’s cheek and shook Loyal’s hand, and then Ellie led the way out of the house.
Sloan’s heart beat out of her chest as she stared down at the medication in her hands. She knew she wasn’t in the mental space to make this type of decision, but a decision had to be made. She only had 24 hours to decide, and the clock was ticking. She had yearned to hear from Cassidy all day. She desperately wished for him to call her or to send flowers or to even just text her phone or like a picture on her Instagram, but all she received was silence. She had spent years enjoying her own company. She had never needed a man to make her feel fulfilled, but after one night of indulging in him, she now felt like she couldn’t breathe without him. She wondered if their lovemaking was reminiscent of what it would be like if they could be together. Was the spectacular show a normal occurrence, or did he give her his all because deep down in his bones he knew that it wouldn’t happen again. She hated this extreme dopamine high that came with loving him because whenever he wasn’t around, there was a feeling of depravity. Now that they were at odds and hurtful things had been said, she felt like she was dying. She wished this was asimple fight between two stubborn people who were avoiding an easy answer, but it was deeper than that. If she had known it would end up like this, she would have never crossed the line with Cassidy.
“Sloan, what the hell is taking you so long? You told us to come over here and ride with you, but we could have met your slow ass at the mall,” Shy fussed as she knocked on Sloan’s bedroom door.
“Come in,” Sloan called out.
Shy opened the door, and Sloan stood like a deer in headlights.
“Bitch, is that a Plan B pill?” Shy whispered.“Bitch! You fucked Cass, didn’t you? Spill all the motherfucking tea. You dirty ho! We all said whoever fucked him first would share the details! Why didn’t you call me?!!!!” It was a pact they had made behind Ellie’s back in high school. It had been just schoolgirl crushes back then. Her circumstance today was much more serious.
Sloan wished she wasn’t a doctor at this moment. She wished that she could pretend that last night hadn’t happened and pop up with a positive pregnancy test and then claim naïveté. But she couldn’t. This was her field of expertise, and she knew exactly how the female body worked. She and Cassidy had made love without protection while she was ovulating. There was a damn good chance she could get pregnant.
