“That’s what he told her, too, until he did,” she whispered. She looked off, unable to be accountable to his stare. He was silently pleading with her to trust him, to believe him. She wanted to, but what was her mother’s death for if not to teach her a lesson? If she refused to learn it, she was destined to repeat it. Men in jail were con artists. They were masters at manipulation and concealing. They learned how to be better deceivers in prison, and she just couldn’t be sure that Cassidy was truly different, or if he was just masquerading.
“I don’t know how to do anything except live in my truth,” Cassidy said.“I can tell you, and I will tell you, every day, that I’llnever hurt you, but it’s my actions that matter.”
“I just can’t reconcile the‘you now’versus the you that did that,” Sloan cried.“The trial, Cassidy. You sat up there and didn’t show an ounce of remorse. I came to your trial every day. I skipped school to make sure I was there next to Ellie every fucking day until the day they put you on the stand and showed the crime scene photos.”
“I remember the shit, Sloan. I don’t need you to play it back for me,” he stated in frustration. It had been the worst time of his life.“I looked for you after that. I searched every face in that crowd for you until I realized you weren’t coming back. I was scared out my mind and I used to focus on you. I thought you were the prettiest girl I’d ever seen, man.” He nodded his head in understanding as he concluded that this wasn’t going to happen for them.“I’m sorry I can’t be who you need. It kills me every time I feel your fear creep into your mind when I’m around. Because I would fucking never…” He shook his head and reached for his clothes because there wasn’t even a point in continuing. The fact that she thought he would lay a finger on her put a pain in him he couldn’t quite shake.“I don’t want you to be anywhere you don’t feel safe, Sloan. Last night was…”
“Perfect,” she whispered, pushing a tear off her face as she watched him dress.
“A mistake, Sloan,” he said, snatching up his shirt.“I would have never taken advantage of you if I knew…”
“I don’t feel taken advantage of,” she protested.“That’s not what I’m saying!”
“Did you feel like you couldn’t say no? Like I ambushed you by coming here? I been trying to not press you, trying to not see you, not be attracted to you, Sloan, but you’re everywhere. You and Ellie attached at the fucking hip. My baby sister’s best friend, and I’m in love with you. I been on that type of time with you, Sloan. I put your fucking picture up in my jail cell because I was proud of you, and seeing you gave me hope.”
She gasped. His vulnerability was rare, and she felt like if she made the wrong move it would flee.
“What picture?” she asked.
“It was a medical journal article; some shit you wrote. They took your picture, and Ellie sent it to me. Your face made me feel safe for 23 years, and I get out and you tell me I fucking scare you,” he muttered, scoffing.“Life is amu’fucka, yo. You have no idea how long it took me to get to you.” Hopelessness. Her fear discouraged him, and then the vulnerability was gone. She saw him harden right before her eyes as he said,“Maybe I am the monster you think I am.”
“No!” she denied.“No, Cass, baby, no!” She approached him and held his face in her hands. He was disappointed, dejected even as he pulled his face away. His body was tense. His shame was high.
“Ellie gave me your address. I told her you left something in the sprinter. I should have never come here without being invited,” he stated.“Scared of me hurting you? That’s wild, man,” He shook his head. She had offended him. She was hurting him.I’m the bad guy,she thought. She didn’t mean to tear him down with her truth. She knew she cared too much because his disappointment filled her with agony, too.“I’ma respect your boundaries, Sloan.” He kissed her forehead and made his way for the door.
“Cassidy!” she shouted, crying. He stopped at the door.
“If yougon’call it, Sloan, just call it. Let’s wrap this shit up and let another twenty go by. I had no plans to contact you when I got out. You walked into the house the other day, and I thought we might be able to recapture time. Let yourself find a man that fits in your perfect picture. Somebody you feel secure with and let me find someone that’s okay with my past.”
The idea of that was sickening. Her fight or flight was going haywire.“I don’t want that,” she cried.
“What do you want?” he shot back.“What you see me as? A nigga that’s perfect to call up when you want a little thug in your life? When you want your pussy ate or that attitude adjusted? You want dick? I’m already doing that with a few bitches, Sloan, I don’t need to do that with you.”
She recoiled. This was as harshly as he had ever handled her. Her feelings were in her stomach.
“Wow, Cass,” she scoffed, offended.“If I knew being honest was going to lead to this, I would have never said anything. So much for never hurting me.” She laughed and shook her head at her own foolishness. Sometimes, you had to just laugh to keep from crying. She held onto her stomach because she couldn’t calm that ache.“I knew better. I’m so fucking stupid. Those few bitches you got in rotation can have you.”
Chapter 11
Loyalpulled up to the construction site of the new hotel his team was building downtown. He was glad the sun was shining. Michigan winters were rough, and the temperatures had dropped into the negative, which had shut his project down for a few days. They were back up and running, which meant money was flowing. His project manager handed him a helmet as soon as he stepped out of his Cybertruck.
“Thanks, man. Mypotnah, Cass, should be pulling up any minute. You got those site plans drawn out for me on the new lounge?” Loyal asked.
“Yes, sir,” the man said, holding up a long cardboard cylinder that contained the architectural designs.
“Perfect,” Loyal said, taking the designs.“You ready for the company Christmas party?” Loyal asked.
“Yeah, the wife is real excited about it. It’sthe only time we get to dress up and go out on the town,” the man answered. Loyal smiled and patted the man on the shoulder.
“It’llbe a good time,” Loyal stated.“Look forward to seeing her tomorrow. I’llbe in my trailer. Send Cass in when he arrives.”
Loyal kept his stride as he looked down at his phone. He had called Ellie once since the basketball game, and she hadn’t answered. He didn’t know if he should read that as disinterest or not, but he knew that the burden to return the call was on her. He didn’t have these types of problems. Women didn’t normally make him wait. She had said she was only in town for a week. Perhaps her schedule was too busy to squeeze him in. He knew she had a lot going on, so he wasn’t tripping, but he hoped to see her before she left town. He Didn’t know what it was about this woman, but he hadn’t stopped thinking about her. He had hoped to invite her to his company party, but instead, he opted for his child’s mother. He couldn’t show up alone, and Ellie was MIA.
The knock at the door caused him to glance up as one of the construction workers stepped inside.
“Mr. Brier, I don’t mean to pop up on you or nothing, but I was wondering if I could get a minute of your time,” the man said.“I’m James.”
“Yeah, man, have a seat,” Loyal stated. He walked around the desk and sat down.“What can I do for you, my man?”
