She glanced up, suddenly frantic to find Silver. Her anxiety eased a fraction when she spotted the other SEAL. When he locked eyes with her, Silver immediately moved in her direction.
“How bad?”
“Running a fever, elevated heart rate and decreased blood oxygen saturation. The wound is infected, and I’m concerned he’s in the early stages of sepsis.”
“He’s officially out of the fight, then. I’m going to give him a heavier pain med and get him hooked up to a temporary I.V. We’ll keep him comfortable until we get to the extraction point, then pump him with more antibiotics.”
Her hands were trembling now and for the first time since her capture, she wanted to sob. This man was important. A rescuer. A guardian angel for those in crisis. And the truth was, she was scared for him. It had been so long since she let herself feel fear, and yet, this stranger had evoked that emotion in her.Please let him be okay.He didn’t leave her in that river when the situation seemed hopeless, and there was no way she’d be leaving his side. Not until she knew for certain he was going to be okay.
Chapter Four
Sully was floating.One moment his leg was on fire, and the next, he was cocooned in a lovely haze. If he wasn’t high off his ass from the pain meds Silver must have administered when he’d passed out, he’d be pissed as hell for being rendered useless on this mission. Now that the morphine was in his system, he was no good to anyone. Not his teammates. Not the children. And most especially not Jane. He’d angered her earlier with his statement about being in the right place at the right time, but he wasn’t blowing smoke. He didn’t give a shit what Jane had done before he met her, only that she was here now.
Earlier, when Wyatt and Addy were arguing about which tributary they should take, he’d watched Jane as she pretended to be sleeping. Her hair was dark, nearly black, and it had dried in long waves that fell over her shoulders and down her back. Her lashes were thick and rested against high cheekbones. Her nose was adorable. Small and slightly upturned like a button. He had no idea how long he’d stared at her face, memorizing the delicate features. It was when her eyes popped open though, that his heart had stuttered in his chest. A rich espresso that jolted him to attention. Eyes that glowed outward, saturating him with their warmth.
Even now, he could feel her hand gripping his as the boat drifted down the river. Or maybe it was him drifting in and out of consciousness. She’d been talking to him, at first reassurances then descriptions of the scenery and updates on their progress on their journey to the extraction point.
Even though he longed to watch Jane as she spoke, his eyelids were so heavy. His entire body felt dense and immobile. When she briefly stopped talking, unexpected panic crawled through him.
“More.” His voice was hoarse and unfamiliar.
“More? More what? I’ll get Silver.” Jane shifted and tried to release his hand.
“No. Tell me more.” It took far too much energy to give her hand a reassuring squeeze. The weakness he was feeling should be alarming, but the only thing that scared him was not being able to hear her voice. “Please.”
“We’ve been on the tributary Addy suggested for about a half hour now. The rainforest is so spectacular. I swear I’ve never seen plants so beautiful in my life. There are these hanging flowers that look like bright red chili peppers on a vertical string. Oh, and orchids like the kind people always give as gifts except they’re clinging to the trees. We just passed a bunch of lily pads the size of a banquet tray.” She paused for a moment, and he imagined her scanning the surrounding area with wonder in those deep, expressive eyes. “I keep seeing these birds about the size of a robin, but their feathers are the colors of Sharpie highlighters. Neon green, turquoise, orange, and pink. It feels surreal that the river is a hotbed for crime when it’s home to such beauty.”
“Tell me about you.” Just hearing her voice soothed him. He knew he was sick as hell. Could feel it in the thready flutter of his heart and shallow breaths. Still, he hadn’t been lying when he told Jane he was in the right place at the right time. He believed those words, just as he knew he’d never regret meeting this woman. When they were rescued, she’d go back to her life and so would he, but the thought made him nearly desperate to ask if they could stay in contact. He’d never felt that way about someone he met on a mission—hell, he’d never experienced thatmeeting a woman anywhere. He wasn’t a saint, but his life was fast and intense. It never seemed fair to have a relationship when he was constantly away on missions, unable to say where he was going or when he’d return. Christ, he was getting ahead of himself. He’d just met Jane, and if she could hear the direction of his thoughts, she’d be freaked out.
“Well, you already know how I like my ice cream, which is a priority.” The smile in her voice was audible, and he couldn’t help prying his eyes open to catch a glimpse of the small grin etched on her face. Even though it was just a slight curve of her lips, he wanted to elicit more of those serene expressions. “I don’t care that I’m a nurse and should be preaching about prioritizing nutrient-dense food. Is a life without ice cream and pizza truly worth living? I think not.”
He grinned at her words and the fact that he felt the same. Even though his eyes were heavy, he wanted to stare at her for as long as he could. Sully could listen to her talk for hours.
“Is that a smile of judgment or agreement?” She chuckled, and the sound went straight to his heart. She’d been through a nightmare, and she was teasing him to keep his mind off his injury.
“Never judgment.” He wanted to share how his friends always ribbed him for the food he could house. He was a big man and he’d be the first to admit he liked to eat, but every time he spoke, it seemed to suck the energy right out of him.
“I grew up in Kansas with my mom and stepdad. My parents divorced when I was five. My mom had full custody, and my father visited on the weekends, but those visits become less frequent until they stopped entirely. We’d lost contact completely by the time I was eight, and then Jim entered the picture. I give him credit for taking on a rowdy tween when he married my mother. He was a police officer though, and I think he secretly thought he could easily manage my behaviors, butI was even more trouble than Jim bargained for. Still, he stuck around, and despite his flaws, I never questioned the love he had for my mother.”
He could read between the lines there. She didn’t question her stepfather’s love for her mother, but what about Jane? Did that love extend to her too? He couldn’t imagine not loving the child of a woman he’d made vows to, even if the kid wasn’t biologically his. He wanted to ask but didn’t want her to stop talking now that she was on a roll.
“I was so convinced that living in Kansas, under their roof, was the worst thing possible, and I left at seventeen. I should’ve stuck it out. Graduated. There were other things happening though, and I needed to get out of town. I did many odd jobs and pooled my money with a few other dropouts to rent a shitty apartment. I was a waitress, worked in a home supply store, and at night, I was a dancer at a strip club.”
If she thought he was going to judge or look at her differently, she was dead wrong. Strip clubs had never been his thing, but a job was a job. He couldn’t deny that he was secretly thrilled she’d changed careers, even though he had no claim on her. The thought of her working three jobs, though, to make ends meet was exhausting just to think about.
“Anyway, working three jobs wasn’t sustainable,” she said mirroring his thoughts. “I got my GED and then went to school for my nursing license. That’s my life in a nutshell. I’d like to know your story, but talking would drain every last ounce of energy you have. You need to conserve that for healing.”
“Free time?” He was being selfish asking her to keep sharing more of herself. The poor woman probably just wanted to rest.
She scrunched up her cute little nose. “Really? You haven’t had enough of me droning on about my boring life?”
“No.” As much as he wanted to continue looking at her while she spoke, he leaned his head back against the side of the boat.He’d never felt so weak in his life, and he couldn’t help but wonder if it was the morphine or the infection coursing through him.
“You’re a strange man, Sully. Either that or you’re a glutton for punishment. I’m a homebody now. I couldn’t get enough of the parties and wild adventures when I was a teen. I didn’t realize I was searching for something. Trying to constantly fill a void that I didn’t understand.”
“Now?” he asked, eyes partially closed. “Did you find what you needed?”
“Not so much what I needed, but I learned about myself. I always thought something was wrong with me. Why things took me so much longer than other kids. The reason I couldn’t pay attention for thirty seconds unless it was an area that interested me. How trouble seemed to follow me everywhere I went and why I was always taking big risks despite the potential ramifications. I lived my whole life thinking I was stupid, lazy, bad. Turns out I just had undiagnosed ADHD, as is often the case for women with the condition. It has such a profound social impact when it goes undiagnosed in childhood. Actually though, diagnostic research that forms the general framework of ADHD understanding is male-centric, so many girls fly under the radar.” A short puff of air left her lips. “Sorry…if I wasn’t boring you before, I certainly am now. The diagnosis was such a light-bulb moment for me, and it’s something I’m passionate about.”
