“Ah.” Archie’s tone is knowing, and it gets my back up.
“What does that mean?” I ask his back as he bends to inspect a photo frame.
“Well, it makes sense when you think about it,” is his baffling answer.
“I’m not better than Dallas! He’s an amazing man. He’s my best freaking friend, for Pete’s sake.”
Archie turns and throws his palms up in defense like I’m about to throw another can of seltzer at him. If I had another one, I just might. “I mean, as your brother, it’s my right to think nobody is good enough for you.”
My heart softens at that. Damn teddy bear.
“But that’s not what I meant,” he finishes. I cross my arms and wait for him to continue. He hesitates, probably checking for signs I might assault him, before continuing. “You’ve just never made a secret of your expectations of men.”
Since I know he’s right, I have no choice but to stay silent. Instead, I turn my head to follow him as he rounds the back of the couch.
Archie shrugs. “You can’t blame a guy for thinking he can’t measure up.”
“This is ridiculous, though. Dallas has always been such a confident guy, and women everywhere adore him. It doesn’t make sense for him to feel the least bit unworthy.”
“Well, then, I guess it’s your job to define what worth means to you when it comes to him.” He eyes me. “If you want to be with him, that is.”
I drop my head back and close my eyes. “I really fucked this up for myself, didn’t I?”
Archie pats my head from behind the couch like I’m a dog. “I think you can split the blame with Dallas. After all, he’s been single all this time for a reason.”
I open my eyes to look at my brother. He’s upside down from this angle and kind of looks like our daddy. “You know, one of the last conversations I had with Momma was her telling me to watch my heart and wait for a guy who knew how to treat it right. A guy like Daddy. I guess over time, my expectations just compounded, and I felt like I had to do right by her.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure she only ever wanted you to be happy, whatever that means.”
He’s right. Of course he is.
I sigh, and he pats my head one more time before resuming his inspection of my living room.
“I can’t believe you still have this picture.” Archie laughs, holding up a frame with a snapshot of our parents from the very same Knockers County Fair photo booth Dallas nearly burned down the other day. They’re in sepia, dressed as outlaws and scowling at the camera with their best bad-guy mugs, both failing miserably at the effort.
“Momma never could keep from smiling, even when she was trying to be stern.” I cast a wistful look at the photo, warmth filling my chest, along with the familiar shot of grief that never really goes away.
“I don’t know about that.” Archie grins and sets the photo back down. “She could hold a good grudge when she and Daddy got into it.”
I tilt my head, my brows drawing together. “I don’t remember them fighting.”
“Seriously?”
“I think I would remember. I’m older than you by two years. They were madly in love.”
“Maybe so, but they still fought. Oh, god. Don’t you remember that one year when Daddy forgot their anniversary and went to play poker with the Jameson brothers?” I jolt at his words. “Momma was fit to be tied. Didn’t speak to him for a whole week.”
A vague memory of my daddy walking around on eggshells and my momma glaring daggers at him niggles at the back of my mind. I shake my head. “I guess nobody is perfect.” Lord knows I’m not.
“Doesn’t mean two people can’t be perfect for each other, though, right?” Archie’s got a single eyebrow raised at me and a knowing twinkle in his eye.
“Who’s the hopeless romantic now?”
I lick my lips nervously, my hands worrying the paper in my lap as I wait for Dallas to walk through the door.
It’s Sunday, and Dallas was a no-show at church. I spent the night at my place with Archie, and we ordered takeout from Pound Town, eating it in front of the TV and getting caughtup. Tulsa is only three hours away, but with both of our busy schedules, we don’t see each other as often as we should.
Dallas is obviously avoiding me, but that’s okay. I have a plan. Or at least the beginnings of one. I lay awake in bed last night thinking about my conversation with Archie and about all the things I value about Dallas. It’s high time I show him how absolutely worthy of love he is and how we belong together. Who am I to dictate how someone shows their love for me? I’ve been a complete idiot.
