"Hot."
"That too, but I was going to say special. The way you were comfortable enough with me to do that, to let me see you that way, that's not lost on me." He takes my hand, traces the tip of one finger over my fingernail. "I wish things were different."
"Me, too." The regret, the longing, is strident in my tone.
"I wish I'd come back earlier."
"Me, too."
We stare at each other, a chasm between us. We know we care for each other, but at the end of the day, that can only take us so far.
Hard truths:
I'm marrying Duke.
Penn isn't here to stay.
I don't know why he left, and he still refuses to tell me.
Penn climbs down, turning back and offering his hand to help me. I take it, and when I get settled on my feet, he reaches out. Tucks a lock of hair behind my ear, one finger straying to trace the shell. "Are you ready to go?" he asks.
"No."
"Me neither."
He opens the passenger door for me, watching me climb inside. Instead of closing the door right away, he leans against the frame, regarding me with a warmth in his eyes.
"Hi," I say softly.
"Hey," he responds, his voice a low rumble.
"What we just did," I pause, trying to gather my thoughts, but it's nearly impossible.
"Just say it, Sunshine," he urges. "Say whatever it is you're thinking."
"I loved doing that with you."
"So did I."
"Then why do I feel"—I search for the best fitting word to describe the odd emotion tumbling through me—"bereft?"
"Because you're realizing we are not one and done. This won't be enough for us." His hand reaches out, fixing the twisted strap of my top. "And, maybe, you're starting to see what you got yourself into." Regret blooms in his eyes. "What I set into motion a long time ago."
"You couldn't have known. Besides, the choice was mine."
He nods. "I'm feeling all that too, you know. I'm starting to realize how messy this is."
He closes the door, and I watch him walk around the front of the truck.
We're quiet on the drive back, and at some point, Penn reaches for my hand. His fingers weave through mine, and they don't leave.
The emotions inside me swirl, cresting high like a rogue wave.
I want the physical connection.
I want the emotional connection.
I sneak a peek at Penn's profile as he drives.
