Chapter 54
Daisy
The day isbright and sunny, but the cold remains, unyielding in its grip on the town.
Last night's champagne buzz turned into this morning's fogginess, but that has burned off. The room where I'm getting ready at Summerhill has an ornate oval mirror fixed to the wall above a vanity. Strewn atop the vanity are tubes of various makeup and tiny compacts of blush and eye shadow, and every makeup brush I own. My makeup is done, and my hair is day-old to help it stay better in the updo I coaxed it into. My plastic-wrapped dress hangs from a gold hook on the opposite wall.
I look like a bride, and I feel like everything but one. From the moment I woke up today, I ruthlessly banished every emotion skipping through me. But no matter what I do, I cannot get rid of the incessant feeling that what I'm doing is wrong.
Wrong for me. Wrong for my mother. Wrong for Penn. Wrong for Duke.
"Hey, bride-to-be," Vivi says, peeking her head into the room. She's wearing a beautiful ruby red, floor-length dress. And, because it's cold, a gray zip-up hoodie. "Your mom and dad just pulled up."
"They're early," I say, looking at my phone. I have three text messages from Duke, but I haven't looked at them. I'm so keyed up, so distressed, I can't bear to add to the tornado building strength inside me.
I walk out to the main room with Vivi, where there are already chairs set up, a white runner, a makeshift arch. Hugo recently placed an order for a custom built arch, a piece so intricate and detailed, hand carved by a man in a town a couple hours north of here. I'm relieved to not be getting married under something that exquisite, that special.
Through the large picture window I watch Bonnie exit the back seat door, opening my mother's car door. My dad comes around, standing by in case Bonnie needs help. My mother must be having a good day, because she holds up a hand, letting Bonnie know she can get out of the car herself. And then she does, and I feel a flush of thrill at this tiny victory.
Vivi and I meet them on the sidewalk out front. "Mom, you look beautiful." She wears a dusty rose silk shift dress, and a smart little matching bolero. Bonnie has pinned her hair back in a chic chignon.
"I asked Vivi what color she planned to wear," she answers, smiling ear to ear. "That way I didn't clash with her."
I fold her into a hug. She smells like hairspray, and cucumber lotion, and her favorite Jo Malone perfume. She is tiny in my arms, but she's here and she's vital and the day is bigger for her than it is for me.
I lose it. Right there on the sidewalk, where Summerhill employees pass me and try not to stare as they work on setting up the ceremony.
"Little girl," my mom says, hands on my cheeks, searching my face.
Huge, ugly tears roll down my cheeks, tumble off my jaw, meeting their maker in the fabric of my robe. My mascarastreaks down my face, because I wasn’t expecting to cry today, so why bother with waterproof?
"I’m sorry," I sniff. "I don’t mean to cry."
Vivi steps up, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "Let's go to Daisy's dressing room." Without waiting for a response, she turns me and leads me away. Once we're safely away from eyes and ears, Vivi and Bonnie leave me with my parents.
"Daisy, what's going on?" My mom guides me to the small couch, urges me to sit down with her. "Why don’t you tell me what's going on?"
"It's ok," I lie. "Wedding day jitters, that's all."
"Sweet girl," my mom soothes, brushing away my tears. "This looks nothing like wedding day jitters. Come on. Talk to me."
I hesitate, but my dad settles himself on the chair at the vanity, urging me to come clean with a nod of his head.
Sniffling, I take a deep breath and say, "I made a mistake, Mom. A big one."
"There’s nothing you’ve done that you can’t come back from. Tell me what it is, and I’ll help you solve the problem."
"It's Penn, Mom."
Mom sighs, this gentle little sound, like maybe she knew it all along. "Of course it's Penn, Daisy. For you, it's always been Penn." She turns tender eyes on my father. "When a heart knows true love, it recognizes it in another." She folds my hand in both of hers. "And for you, my precious daughter, that man is your true love."
"Duke—"
"He'll understand, Daisy." Her voice is rich and certain, soothing me in a way nothing else could. "It was a smart match, but you lacked fire. Maybe you would've been fine with that, but with Penn in the picture?" She shrugs. "What's a heart to do but yearn for its mate?"
I'mstunned.
This whole time, I forgot one of my mother's firmest beliefs.True love. She dreamed of seeing me walk down the aisle in her wedding dress, but more than anything, she wanted me to find true love. The wedding dress, the ceremony, they were only symbols of the most important thing.
