Oh. I step back. Meet Penn's eyes. The corners of his mouth turn up.
"You're marrying Duke. Tomorrow," my dad says slowly, a reminder I don't need.
Regret sweeps through me, the feeling mirrored back to me in Penn's stormy eyes. "Right," I answer on a strangled whisper. It's all set. Every last detail.
"Your mother?—"
"I know, Dad. I know."
Realization widens his eyes, slackens his jaw. "Oh, Daisy Mae."
"The apple doesn't fall far," Penn says, bringing a moment of levity to a grim situation. He takes my hand, winding his fingers through it. "I love your daughter, Mr. St. James. I loved her when I was a kid, and I love her today. And in case you're wondering, I'm not going to run into the ceremony tomorrow and cause a scene."
"You're not?" I ask without thinking. A part of me had entertained that fantasy, not only because it's the epitome of romantic, but because if someone outed me, exposing what Duke and I agreed to, it would be over. An ending that wouldn't be my doing.
"I'm not going to put you in that position, Sunshine." He smirks, giving me that playful look I desperately love. "Did you want me to?"
I bite back a smile. "I might have daydreamed about it."
"Me, too," he admits.
We share a smile, a quiet laugh, and everything falls away. For a moment we are Daisy and Penn, best friends running around my parents' house, and we have all the time in the world in front of us.
A quiet heaviness settles over us as reality intrudes. By this time tomorrow, I will be as far removed from Penn as I can possibly be. I will be Duke's wife, and Penn will eventually return home to San Diego.
"Will you walk me out?" I ask him.
He nods eagerly. "Of course."
Nearly unforgotten on the other side of his desk, my dad says, "Daisy, about tomorrow..." He trails off. What is there to say?
"I'll be there, Dad. I'll give Mom her dream. I'll do everything I said I would."
He opens his mouth, hesitates. Blinks hard and shakes his head. "For what it's worth, Penn, I'm happy to see you're back. You bring something out in my little girl, that frankly, nobody else does."
"Thank you, sir."
I glance back at my father on our way out the door. Wrinkles pull at the corners of his eyes. He looks tired. Deflated.
We walk back through the house, then into the kitchen. I'd been hoping to catch my mother, give her one last hug and tell her I love her again. I could say it one hundred times a day and it wouldn't be enough to make up for all the future I love you's we will miss.
She's already disappeared with Bonnie, so I let us out the side door. Slim Jim's expression changes when he sees Penn, going from stoic to a goofy dog smile.
"So…" Penn turns to me when we're between our cars. We forgot ourselves in my father's office, but we're in public now, and we keep a polite distance just in case. The inverse of me and Duke. This whole situation is the messiest of messes, a snarl that looks impossible to untangle.
"So," I echo.
"I don't know what to say."
"Neither do I."
"This feels a lot like letting go."
My lower lips trembles. "It really does."
"I'm going to get hammered drunk tonight."
"That's probably a bad idea."
