“Then, yes. People make mistakes, even the good ones. Are you using any of this in the book?”
“I’ve written four new chapters.”
“Do they include your character running into Gabriel?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“It wouldn’t be a bad direction to take the story.”
“I thought you wanted me to ride off into the sunset on my own white horse?”
She shrugs. “Still not a bad way to go. Just not the only way.”
“Gotcha.”
She peers into the screen, shrewd eyes taking me in. “Are you doing ok?”
I recently saw a ghost, so, no, I’m not doing well. No matter how much I force Gabriel from my thoughts, he doesn’t go far. It doesn’t help that I want to see him, despite the way my brain warns my heart. I don’t tell Jill that each night since I arrived, I sit outside and listen, hoping to hear Gabriel’s music. “I’m struggling,” I admit.
“I thought so.” Jill sits back. “You should go have a little fun. Where are you?”
“Sugar Creek.”
She turns to her second computer and begins typing, muttering the words Sugar Creek as she taps the keys. Less than a minute later she announces, “There’s a county fair there right now. Looks like a pretty big deal. Very small town and whimsical. You should go. Step away from the story for an afternoon.”
“That does sound like a good idea.” I’ve been writing, rereading, and agonizing over my word choices since Gabriel and that crazy dog came barging in here a few days ago.
Gabriel has a lot to do with how long it’s taking me to write. Lengthy sessions of staring at the laptop screen aren’t helping either. The words meld together, and soon it’s Gabriel’s face I see.
He’s still handsome, but weathered now. His eyes were always deep and wise, but now I see he knows things. Things he’d rather not know, I’m sure.
To Jill, I say, “I think I’ll check out that fair. I did my hair and makeup today, might as well put it to good use.”
“Go on,” she urges. “My New Yorker heart is very jealous of the small-town whimsical fun you’re about to have.”
We sign off, and I look up the fair. Jill is right. It’s whimsical, and I’ll regret not going.
I change out of my yoga pants and loose-fitting top and into a casual dress.
I heat my curling iron and put some casual curls into my freshly washed and dried hair.
I slip my feet into some casual shoes.
So casual.
If I happen to run into Gabriel while I’m there, then, you know, what’s a girl to do? I’d been caught off-guard the last two times I saw him. If it happens today, I’ll be ready.
“Wish I could bring you,” I tell Ruby, scratching behind her ears on my way out.
A flicker of excitement sparks to life in my belly.
Gabriel might not even be there.
But also…he might.
I said we should stay away from each other, but what if we find ourselves in the same place at the same time? Loophole, right?
I probably shouldn’t be going. I mean really, what am I even doing? Why am I doing it? I know better. Our marriage is over, and it has been for a while. There’s really no good reason to see him again. I realize what a bad idea this might be.
