“The untangling of intertwined lives isn’t pleasant, or pretty. But it’s necessary. One day, you’ll find yourself ready to begin that task.”
I fidget with a bracelet. “Is this goodbye, Dr. Ruben? Are you going to tell Joseph it’s safe to allow me back into the practice?”
Dr. Ruben cracks a smile. “I can if you want me to, but I don’t think that’s what is best for you.”
“What do you think is best for me?” I’d like a roadmap, a guide, something.
He opens his arms wide. “That’s up to you.”
CHAPTER 28
One yearsince Gabriel divorced me, and it feels as fresh as if it happened yesterday. The only thing I’ve gotten better at is stubbornly pushing my way through the pain.
Today is one of those white-knuckle days.
“Why didn’t you hire a moving company?” Cam grunts as she lifts a box. “I saw a moving truck the other day and on the side it said it was a company run by military veterans. The driver was hot. You should have hired him.” She sets the box in the bed of the pickup truck I’ve rented for the day. “I’d really rather be sipping from a cold beverage while watching the hot veteran do all the heavy lifting.”
A sweat-matted baby hair tickles my cheek, and I shoulder it away. “You’re attracted to women.”
She rolls her eyes and turns for the house. “My eyes still work, and they appreciate pretty things.”
I smile and follow her up the driveway. “How much longer do I have your help?”
Cam’s supposed to meet Dani to look at commercial spaces for rent. After years of saving, and pre-approval for a smallbusiness loan, Cam and Dani are ready to move forward with their dream of opening a coffee shop.
Cam props the front door open with a foot. I walk past her and into my bedroom, where more boxes await.
“That depends on how much help you need. Is it just the boxes, or do you want me to go with you to Gabriel’s parents’ house?”
“I can handle his parents,” I tell her, grabbing another box and hauling it across the bed toward me. “I have enough experience with them.”
“Yeah, but his mom is”—Cam curls her fingers and holds them on either side of her cheeks while making a bare-teeth face—“you know. Like that.”
I laugh at Cam’s antics, but the sound is hollow. “She’s not as ferocious as she appears at first. I feel bad for her. In a way, she’s lost two sons.”
“Yeah. When you put it like that…” Cam grabs another box and steadies it on her hip. “I guess I can forgive her for putting Gabriel’s alcoholism on you.”
“She apologized for that,” I remind Cam. Corinne called me the day after Gabriel went to prison to check on me, and told me she was sorry for the things she’d said.
Cam frowns. “Hmph.”
“I appreciate the way you defend me.”
Cam rolls her eyes. “Well, duh. What did she say when you told her you’d be bringing all of Gabriel’s things over?”
“I haven’t told her yet.” We weren’t close to begin with, but after Gabriel went to prison, the Woodruffs acted differently toward me. They started showing interest, caring, trying to provide me with support and comfort. I pushed them away, because staying close would only prolong the inevitable. One day, Gabriel will return, and then what? It’s safer for my heart tokeep them at arm's length. Caring for them is a losing game, and I’ve lost enough.
Cam gives me a long look. “Do you think surprising her is a good idea?”
“I was hoping she wouldn’t be there.” I know how it sounds, but facing her, handing her Gabriel’s belongings, is a way of checking another box. Cutting another tie. I need to be swift, without fanfare. I don’t know that I can survive it any other way.
“Very adult of you,” Camryn comments, adjusting her stance as the box begins to slip. “What are you going to do? Text her a picture of boxes stacked six-high on her porch?” With her free hand she mimes someone texting on a phone. “Thanks for the memories, Corinne. P.S. Here’s your son’s stuff.”
I groan. “Stop.” What I mean is, stop telling me what I should be doing. Stop telling me what I’m doing is wrong. I’m doing my best.
“I think you should give her a heads-up, that’s all. What if she hasn’t thought about where Gabriel will go when he gets out? And now she’s being given all his things?”
“Am I supposed to wait for him to get out before I box up his things and return them to him? I don’t want to live with his stuff for two more years.” For Gabriel, time is suspended. For me, the seconds tick by and turn into minutes, and the longer I stare at his clothes hanging in our closet, the harder it is to take that next step.
