I try not to let it bother me, but irritation works its way into me anyway. Austin hasn't returned my calls or texts today. He doesn't know what happened earlier in the dean's office. He doesn't know I'll be going home to my family's ranch.
What if he asks me to stay here with him? Now that I've withdrawn from the university, as quickly as I was told to, I'm no longer a student. We can stop hiding our relationship. We haven't been seeing each other long, just a few months, but this whole situation could be what forces us to have ‘the talk’.
I dance with my friends until we're sore and our throats are parched. I tell Lindsay and Jayce I'm going to get us another round and make my way from the packed dance floor to the equally packed bar.
When it's my turn, I order another bucket and smile politely at the couple beside me while I wait. They're seated at the bar, and I watch as they take a shot of Jack Daniels. The woman, a brunette beauty, grimaces at the man. She puts her hand on his chest, the diamond on her ring finger sparkling in the overhead light, and says, "It's still as awful as it was that night." The man laughs and replies, "At least this time you'll accept an open drink from me."
The woman notices me standing there and grins at me. "We're recreating the night we met."
"That's adorable." I smile at the couple. It makes me wish Austin were here.
"This is what you have to look forward to when you're old and married like us," the man says, and his wife laughs. He looks at her and says, "No babies tonight though. We don't need to recreate it precisely."
My jaw drops and the woman playfully smacks his arm. She grins at me. "He's not wrong. We have three kids. That's enough."
The bartender hands over the icy bucket. The wife waves at me while the husband orders another shot, and I walk back to the table.
I want to be that couple one day. I want to have kids and still be in love with my husband.
Now I miss Austin even more. After another hour of dancing, and the depletion of our bucket of beers, I bow out for the night. Lindsay and Jayce give me grief, but I remind them I have a lot on my plate right now.
I tell them I'm going back to the dorm for my final night of sleep there, but I don't. Instead of taking a right, I go left. I walk four blocks, past the darkened stores and late-night restaurants, and into a neighborhood.
I've never been to Austin's house. He has a roommate who teaches communications studies at the west campus, so his place has always been off-limits to us. He's also always busy preparing lessons and grading papers. And, despite the bullshit I gave the dean earlier, I really am busy keeping my 3.9 GPA. And, of course, operating a now-defunct poker ring. Most of our time together was spent in Austin’s office, or at cozy little restaurants, and that day trip to Canyon Lake. We had to be careful. But not anymore.
I find the street I'm looking for and cross to the other side. The homes here are small, built in the 1970s, but charming. No master-planned communities in sight.
Technically, Austin didn't tell me where he lives. I saw it on a piece of mail sticking out of his messenger bag in his office last week. It's not my fault it's the easiest address to remember in the history of addresses.4545 N. 45th Place.Um, yeah. That's a gimme.
He's going to be thrilled when he hears my news. After he gets over the first part, anyway. I hadn't told him about the gambling. Once he moves past that, and my subsequent withdrawal, he'll be ecstatic. Just last week he whispered in my ear that he wished he could tell the world about us.
Wish granted.
I find the house with the number 4545 on the front. My shoulders shimmy in anticipation, and I start up the short sidewalk to the front door. A light suddenly shines from a window at the front of the house, momentarily blinding me. My hand lifts to protect my eyes from the surprise glare, and once they adjust, I drop my arm. In the corner of the window, I see a shadow moving back and forth. Instead of going to the door, I creep to the window and peer in.
I smile automatically when I see Austin, but the smile is all wrong. It drops from my face as quickly as it appeared. So lovingly, so carefully, he holds a tiny baby in his arms, rocking the bundle.
This must be his sister’s kid. Relief flows through me. He'd told me his sister was having a baby. I bet she's come to visit. Which explains why he didn't answer my calls and texts today. He was busy with his sister and her new baby.
Obviously this is not a good time. I'll stop by again in the morning, in the light of day, when I'm not mildly intoxicated and can make a good impression on his sister.
Just before I turn away from the window, a woman walks into the room and comes to stand beside Austin, arms extended. He hands the baby to her. She touches something on the strap of her nightgown, and one triangle of fabric falls, revealing a humongous breast. I'm all for feeding your baby however you see fit, but something about this scene feels very, very wrong.
As though I have a crystal ball, I see what's going to happen next.
But, just to make sure my heart really gets the full picture, I stick around long enough to watch Austin fondle her breast before the baby latches on. She laughs in this tired but content way, her head tipping back slowly, and he kisses her before walking from the room. She settles into a rocking chair and closes her eyes. The scene would be beautiful if it weren't so nauseating.
I back away from the window and get the hell out of there.
I guess when it rains, it pours.
2
Sawyer
Sixteen Months Ago
If it had been solely upto me, I wouldn't have chosen this house.
