Jo groans and Dakota doubles over in laughter.
I look at my mother, so quiet in her seat. She's been sipping champagne and watching me try on wedding dresses. It's not like her to be silent. I gather the bottom of the seventh dress I've tried on, a big princess-y gown I detest, and make my way over to her.
"Mom? All good over here?"
Her answering smile is thick. "Oh, I'm fine. Just watching my daughter and trying not to cry."
"I think of all days, this would be an acceptable day to cry."
"Yes," she says softly. "It's overwhelming to watch the four of you together. Four Hayden women."
"Soon to be Hayden-Bennett," I remind her.
She touches my leg. I can't feel it through the layers of tulle and silk and beading, but the gesture warms me. "Right, of course."
For the most part, she loves Sawyer. But every once in a while, I sense a twinge from her, a micro-pain.
Sawyer doesn't have a problem with my refusal to drop my last name. I'm happy to be a Bennett, but Hayden is my birthright. The last name, and all that it encompasses, is woven into the fabric of my being.
I joked with Sawyer that he could take my last name. "We'd be very modern," I said. His response? "A Bennett belongs here."
I cannot argue with that. I'm not interested in erasing his mother. She deserves to be remembered as much as anybody else. She’s even represented in town again, with a lemon scone at The Bakery. Few know why it was recently added to the menu, but those of us who know, smile at the secret.
I won't pretend every day has been rainbows and butterflies. It hasn't. My dad and Sawyer had a long talk soon after the day Sawyer returned to the HCC and saved Colt. My dad apologized for his role in hurting Sawyer’s family. Sawyer accepted the apology, but he’s still working on forgiving my dad. And his own mother. It’s a lot for him to take, and he’s not alone in that feeling.
Sawyer’s dad and his stepmom will arrive a couple days prior to the ceremony. Our dads have assured us their bad blood has long since dried up, but I’m not expecting it to be easy. As long as they are supportive of our marriage, nothing else really matters.
There are moments when Sawyer and I feel hurt and sad, or sometimes indignant, by the choices made by our parents. When those times come, we force ourselves to remember who it was who committed the crime.
Not us.
We are separate from them, and we return to the promise of our love every time we think about what they did. I thank God every day there was nothing for Sawyer to find in his search for what happened to his mother. Sometimes, bad things are simply just bad things.
The shop attendant brings in another bottle of champagne. It's our second, probably thanks to Tenley. When we showed up for our appointment, the woman took one look at Tenley and ushered us back to their private dressing area. Perks of having a famous sister-in-law.
Dakota tops off glasses. Jo declines, and Dakota gives her a hard stare. "You haven't had almost any of the first glass I poured." Her lips purse and her eyes widen. "Do you have news?"
"Wyatt and I are expecting." She smiles, but her lips quiver. "I just, um, I don't want to get super excited yet. It's early. I'm eight weeks. And before, you know…"
"Hey," I say, hurrying to her side. "We arethrilledfor you." My heart twists at the fear in her eyes. Jo has suffered two miscarriages over the past year.
My mother stands up and makes her way over. Of all of us, she understands what Jo is feeling more than anybody. She holds Jo's shoulders and looks her in the eyes. "Everything is going to be okay." Then she folds Jo into a hug.
I throw my arms around both of them. I can't help it. Tenley and Dakota join in, and now it's a big Hayden-women hug.
We pull away, and the saleswoman grins at us sheepishly. "I hope you don't mind, but I grabbed a phone"—she points down at Dakota's phone—"and took a picture. That was just too sweet."
Dakota thanks her and texts the photo to all of us.
Thirty minutes later, I findthe one.The perfect dress.
We grab lunch and head back up to Sierra Grande.
Later that night, lying in bed with Sawyer by my side, I tell him I chose a dress.
He kisses my forehead. "Don't tell me anything about it. I want to be surprised."
"Ready for another surprise? Jo is pregnant."
