I won’t bereadyto go.
I’ll just go. One foot in front of the other, until there’s enough distance to be considered gone.
30
Warner
After our family talk,Peyton and Charlie elected to finish out their weekend visit with their mom. Despite the strength Anna showed just now, I saw the way the kids wanted to protect her. They are Haydens, after all.
I pass the homestead and Cowboy House, then continue on the dirt road until I veer off for Wyatt’s cabin. In the distance, through the pine trees, I see Pearl.
Automatically, a smile curves my lips. It remains in place when I let myself in the front door, and stride all the way into the kitchen, where I can see a wash of golden hair.
Tenley turns to face me, and my smile slides away.
“What’s wrong?” I step toward her, but halt when she shakes her head back and forth quickly.
“I’m leaving.” Her voice quivers.
My head flinches back, her words hitting me with a painful force. I need a better explanation. “You’re leaving Sierra Grande? But the movie…” Her meaning takes hold, and my next words disappear like my smile. “It’s me. You’re leaving me.”
She shakes her head again, this time slower. “You can’t expect me to stay, Warner. We want two different things, and the longer this goes on, the harder it will be. I thought I could handle the pain, but—” Her shoulders curl forward with her small shrug. “I can’t.”
I have to go to her. I need to touch her.
She doesn’t stop me. My hand glides through her hair, cupping the back of her head. The momentum takes us back a few feet, and I cradle her lower back with my arm, buffering her from the edge of the counter.
“Don’t go.” My voice is hoarse, like I’ve been screaming for hours. Or maybe, I’ve been screaming silently for years. “Please, Tenley.”
We’re mere inches apart, and she looks into my eyes. “This isn’t fair to me.”
Shame fills me. She’s not wrong.
“I want things you’re not willing to give, Warner. And I chose to continue with you, knowing how you felt. None of this is your fault. But it’s time.”
“I’m sorry.” In this moment, my apology means more than anything I’ve ever said.
Tenley leans closer. Her soft lips brush mine. I close my eyes. She kisses me harder. I kiss her back, crushing her to me, holding on for dear life.
My hands run over her waist, skimming her shoulders, trailing down her arms. Her skin is blazing hot, rising under my touch, and she moans into my mouth.
“Is this a good idea?” I ask against her.
“No,” she chokes out, but doesn’t stop.
I know it will be the last time, and it heightens every sensation. Into the bedroom we go, her legs wrapped around my waist, as we melt into one another. We fall down onto the bed, holding tighter, fastening like we can capture the liquid we’re made of. We both know that when this is over, we’ll have slipped through the cracks in our fingers. But for now, we get lost.
I lean down, pressing my lips to her neck, inhaling as I taste her, drinking her in. I do not need to commit her to memory. She is already there.
Tenley has never been timid with me, but there’s something new about her now. Raw. Palpable. No second-guessing. No questioning. Her heart leads.
Legs apart, she invites me in. Looking into her eyes, I see it. The beckoning. The beginning of a farewell.
What am I to do except take it? I’ll have her, in any way I can.
I lean forward, line myself up with her, and keep my eyes trained on hers. I’ve never been gentle with her, but I am now. Each moment is measured, ecstasy delivered in cadence.
A goodbye I can control.
