She nods.
“And you haven’t slept together before?”
She shakes her head.
I absorb her frightened expression and take my guessing one step further. “And you’ve never slept with anybody before?”
“Yes,” she wails. The people sitting two tables over look at us. I offer a small head nod and equally small, reassuring smile.
“Hmm.” I fidget with my earring, thinking of what to say to her. This is Wes’s little sister. There’s a lot of pressure on me to say the right thing, and it’s possible Wes and I might not have the same opinion on what the right thing is in this situation. Something tells me he’d force a chastity belt on Jessie. “Firstly, are you looking for advice, or just someone who will listen to you? Because I hate when I get advice when all I’m trying to do is talk something out.”
Jessie takes another chip and actually eats it this time. “I need advice.”
“You should do what you want. And whatever you do, only do it for you. Not for Eamon. You only get one chance to have a first time. If this is how you want your first time to be, then go ahead.”
She leans closer, her voice dropping lower. “I don’t know how it all works.” She quickly amends her statement. “I mean, I know what goes where,” she makes an ‘o’ with two fingers on her right hand and shoves the pointer finger on her left hand through the hole. It takes everything I can do not to laugh, but given the serious look on her face, I know how poorly received my laughter would be. “I just don’t know how you get from fully clothed at a dance to naked on a bed. It all just seems so awkward.”
“Sometimes it is awkward. That’s just part of sex.”
“Even now? When you’re an adult?”
I shift in my seat, considering how to respond. The most recent person to grace my bed was Jessie’s oldest brother. I don’t want to say too much.
“Yes, even as an adult.”
The server places our lunch on the table and refills our waters. We thank him and he walks away. Jessie picks up her fork. “Is it awkward with Wes?” Her tone is forcibly breezy, like she’s just trying out what it’s like to be two friends chatting nonchalantly about sex. How do I tell her that won’t happen for a while, not until she’s been having sex long enough for it to lose its forbidden quality?
“Not any more awkward than his little sister asking me about it.” I smile around the bite of black beans in my mouth.
She grins sheepishly. “Sorry. It’s just that I’ve never seen Wes…” Her mouth twists as she searches for the word. “Happy. He’s not stomping around as much, and there’s something different about his eyes. They’re lighter. Not in color, I mean, but like whatever’s inside him that hurts doesn't hurt so much anymore. And”—she puts a bite of food in her mouth, then points her fork at me—“I noticed him driving to his cabin almost every morning for the past week.”
I nod slowly, trying not to let on how excited her words have made me. If this was Abby across from me, I’d be squirming in my seat and clapping in celebration. Since it’s Wes’s little sister, I feel there should be a modicum of self-possession. “Wes makes me very happy, too, Jessie. And it’s good to hear I’m having the same effect on him.”
“Well, that’s good,” Jessie snorts, “considering you’re getting married.”
I force a laugh. “True.”
Honestly, it feels like my relationship with Wes is developing alongside our deal, like there are two parallel tracks and we’re riding them both.
Jessie looks a little disappointed, and I can tell she wanted me to gush about my deepest feelings. I get it. When Abby and I were teenagers, we dissected every word our crushes spoke, every action they took if it was in a ten-foot radius of us. We were close as could be, lying in bed in our shared bedroom and gossiping at night until one of us fell asleep. It’s one of our favorite mutual memories, and—
Oh.Of course. How did I not see it? Not only is Jessie the only girl, she’s the youngest by fourteen years. She wants her own version of what I had with Abby.
“So.” I lower my voice like we’re talking about something secretive. “Tell me all about Eamon. Is he really cute?”
It’s just what she needs. She talks animatedly, her hands flying around in the air, telling me about every inch of his perfect face, his laugh and his favorite pizza toppings. She talks and talks, and I find myself laughing at her descriptions. I pay the check, and I don’t worry about having enough money to buy her lunch. It’s an incredible feeling. When we walk out to the parking lot, Jessie hugs me. She seems much happier now than she did when she pulled up on the jobsite.
Jessie drives off and I make a stop at the bakery. The cookies last fewer than five minutes around all those hungry workers. Good thing I snagged one for myself before handing the box over to Scott.
The rest of the afternoon is spent calling landscapers in the area, sending them my plans, and collecting bids.
My phone rings at four, and it’s Wes. The sound of his voice rockets through me, leaving no part of me untouched.
“I want to take you somewhere tonight,” he husks. I love that he doesn’t ask me if Iwantto go somewhere. He knows I do.
He tells me to be ready at seven.
I tell him to pick me up at six-thirty because I want to have a drink in the hotel bar first.
