“Is it hard that she’s still your friend?”
My hope vanishes.
We start back onto the path, our pace slower now.
“It’s… different. She has been my best friend since we were little kids, and I can’t cut that off. I don’t want to. But we’re in a weird place right now. Normally, if a person chooses someone else over you, the relationship is over. But when that person is your best friend? There is noover, not unless I want the friendship to be over also. We’re navigating something very confusing.”
“Like on the roadmap of life, you’ve landed in a place where the lines are blurred and the paths are one amorphous blob,” she says knowingly.
I squeeze her hand. Of course she knows exactly how I feel.
She continues. “At this point, I’m certain the only way past it is to go through it.”
“You’re very wise.”
“Hard things will make you wise.”
“Hard things give you the opportunity to become wise. You have to be intelligent enough to step back and see the lessons available to you.”
Addison pokes my side. “Now you’re the wise one.”
The walk out takes longer than the walk in, mostly because we stop three times to make out. I can’t help it. Addison tastes like sunshine and sugar. She has hair my fingers want to curl up in, and soft skin my hands are begging to touch.
When has this ever happened to me? Never. I loved Lennon and had she chosen me that would’ve been it for me, but she was never new to me.
Addison is a discovery, and each layer I peel away has me more hooked than the previous. Lonesome was a stop on my way to somewhere else, but now?
I’m not so sure.
* * *
I’ve been looking around,finding some things I want to do in the area. None of them can be done without a vehicle, and I’m not going to keep borrowing Louisa’s Jeep. I want something of my own, and I think I’ve found it.
To get it, I need to borrow the Jeep one more time. And for that, I need to go to the main house and ask Louisa. Which means maybe I’ll get a glimpse of Addison. And, if I’m lucky, maybe I can sneak a kiss.
We said goodbye at my cabin without a touch. No kiss, no embrace, not even a high-five. Anybody could’ve seen us, and since we hadn’t discussed what we’re doing, what this thing between us even is, we parted without any physical contact.
Such sweet sorrow.
I open the back door and step into the main house, looking around for signs of Louisa or Addison. From a small hall that shoots off the main room, I hear the rumbling sounds of a washer or dryer. I’ll check there first before calling out for anybody or ringing the bell Louisa keeps on the table in the foyer.
I know she’s the proprietor, and I’m technically a guest because I’m paying to stay here, but ringing a bell to get her attention bothers me. She’s a grandma. Addison’s grandma.
As I approach the laundry room, I hear hushed voices. My mouth opens to let whoever it is know I’m there, but then I hear my name, and my mouth snaps closed.
“It was just a walk in the woods, Grandma.”
“You’re already lying to yourself, Addison. Don’t lie to me, too.”
“Grandma,” Addison half-scolds, half-whines.
“Brady doesn’t seem like the type to run around laying his lips on women for no reason.”
“I know,” Addison concedes in a soft voice I have to strain to hear.
“Are you ready to move on with your life?”
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
