I nod. Truthfully, I’m not okay, but I need to be. And I will be. Eventually.
Brady surveys me for a moment, probably determining the level of truth in my answer. He must decide it’s enough, because he steps out of the cabin and turns back around to lock the door.
Brady glances down at my feet. Is he checking my footwear?
“We’re going on a walk, back to where we ran into each other this morning, and then further back from there.” Brady pulls out his phone and studies something on it.
“Do you know where you’re going?” I know I teased him earlier about getting lost, but I’m asking right now out of genuine curiosity.
Brady’s gaze shifts to me as I walk beside him down the steps and out to the trail. “I know where we’re going.”
“And we need a backpack for it?” I raise my eyebrows at the small black pack he’s toting.
“Water, snacks. Bear spray.”
“Ah.” I nod. “All good things.”
Brady leads the way this time. He must’ve really studied a map or something, because he makes turns without hesitation. Maybe he’s doing some weird guy thing where he redeems himself for getting lost before.
We’re quiet the entire walk, and I’m good with that. There aren’t many people a person can be with in a comfortable silence, and probably far fewer who can be that way after knowing each other a short time. Apparently Brady and I fall into that category.
We come to the spot where I saw him huffing and growling this morning when he realized he didn’t know which way to go. Brady turns left, and I catch on to where he’s taking me.
Soon we reach the amphitheater, just like I thought. It’s an old place, an artifact from a youth summer camp adjacent to Sweet Escape’s property. It closed down some time ago when the owners grew too old to run it.
Brady looks so excited I don’t have the heart to tell him I already know about this place.
“Wow!” I look around, doing my best to feign excitement.
Brady frowns. I must be really awful at faking it.
“You know about this place?”
His disappointed face is probably the cutest thing ever.
I scrunch my nose and nod. “I can still pretend it’s a surprise.”
Brady grunts his answer. His eyes search the area, and I’m about to ask what he’s looking for when he finds the object still unknown to me. Leaving me on the top step, he walks down and to the center of a row, reaching down and lifting a smallish branch.
“This,” he says, his tone suddenly serious. “Is the branch of truth. Whoever stands on the stage and holds this branch is free to say what they think without persecution or judgment.”
I can’t help it. I laugh. Brady’s serious face and tone are too much for me.
Brady breaks from his role and smiles. He comes back down the row, and I walk forward to meet him.
“I went to a summer camp when I was a kid, and we used a branch of truth as an exercise. It was actually pretty cool. Liberating.”
Hmm. It sounds interesting. There are plenty of thoughts I’d like to release from my mind, if only to lessen the hold they have on me.
“You go first,” I say, nodding my head at Brady. I’m feeling a little shy at the notion of baring my soul, even though I’m sure it will feel good.
Brady walks down the steps and I follow, breaking off to sit front and center in the second row while he goes on to the stage. It’s only a foot or so off the ground, so we’re on nearly the same level.
Brady steadies his gaze on me, and I don’t see playfulness in his eyes anymore. As I watch, his chest expands with the deep breath he takes, and slowly contracts as he releases it. Holding the stick in his fist, he begins speaking his truth.
“I’m still angry with Lennon for not choosing me, even though I think she made the right choice. I’m mad at Finn for not backing away all those years ago when he realized I liked her too. Sometimes I think if he were a real friend, he’d have given up his dream for mine. It’s the epitome of selfish, but it’s true. In that same thought, I suppose I could’ve given up my dream for his.” He looks down, shaking the stick in his hand, and glances back up to me. “Truth stick, right?” His raised eyebrows lower and he keeps going. “I think maybe it’s a good thing Lennon didn’t choose me, because if she’d picked me she might’ve chosen incorrectly, and what if she’d realized her mistake somewhere down the line, and it ruined our friendship?” Brady pauses, his free hand coming up to pinch the space between his eyes. “I can’t believe I’m at a point in life where I’m looking for myself, when I’ve spent my whole life certain I knew exactly what I wanted. Who is this person who quit the job he couldn’t wait to have, just to embark on some journey without an end, or a specific destination? I’m afraid I don’t know myself like I thought I did.” He looks deep into my eyes, and in his gaze I see his yearning, his belief in what he’s about to say. “More than anything, I’m afraid I’ll never get what Lennon and Finn have. All I’ve ever wanted is to love deeply and profoundly, to share a life with someone whose soul matches mine. And after what happened with Lennon, after it turns out my whole life was a mismatch, I’m afraid I never will.”
My fingertips graze my lips as I absorb Brady’s truth. I long to pull him into my arms, to tell him one day it will all work out, even though I don’t know that to be true. It just seems as though, for someone like Brady, it has to be.
