“Don’t you lie to me, Brady Sterling.” Lennon points a finger at me, her voice stern. “I can tell you’re thinking about lying.”
I chuckle softly, lifting my hands in the air. “You got me.”
“So?” Lennon urges. “Where are you?”
“Why don’t you think I’m in Chicago?” I’m positive my mother hasn’t spoken to Lennon, and even if she had, she wouldn’t have told her my plans.
“I can see where you’re sitting Brady, and it looks nothing like your ultra-modern apartment. And I ran into your mom when I had to go to Agua Mesa to sign some papers. She showed me a picture you sent her. I didn’t make a big deal about it, but it’s obviously not Chicago.”
Right… I had too much to drink on the first night here and sent my mom a picture of the front of my cabin. “I’m doing some exploring in the northwest. I’m staying at a bed and breakfast in Oregon.”
“Babe?” Finn calls out from somewhere in the background.
Ouch. My poor heart.
Lennon turns her head and looks off to the side. “Yeah?” she calls out.
“Do you know where the—oh, hey Brady. What’s going on?” Finn drops onto the couch beside Lennon. He grins the same mischievous smile he always wears.
“Hey, man.”
“Brady’s in Oregon,” Lennon tells Finn, but she’s looking at me. She leans away from him a fraction. She’s being careful of my feelings, trying to make certain I’m not subjected to the image of them touching. I appreciate her consideration, but unfortunately I have an imagination, and on dark nights it has run wild. Seeing their shoulders pressed together now would be the least of what my mind has conjured.
“Cool. Lennon was afraid you’d run off to an ashram or something. What are you doing there?”
“Exploring parts unknown and taking some R&R.”
“Sounds fun.” Finn nods and looks at Lennon, his eyebrows raised. She shakes her head ever so slightly, and he holds her gaze. I watch them have a conversation with their eyes, and it hits me that I can’t read her like I used to. I don’t know her thoughts the way Finn does. Not anymore.
The searing pain of her choice rips across my chest, the flames licking their way across my flesh. If I could, I’d rip my heart from my body, just so I can stop from ever feeling this way again.
“You guys good?” I ask. I don’t know what else to say, and I need to recover from watching them. I need them to see that I’m fine with them being together, even when I’m not.
“Yep,” Lennon pipes up, her voice chipper. She smiles at me. “How is it there?”
“Good, so far. Have you ever been here?” The question is directed at either of them.
Finn gives me a look, like I should know better than to ask that question of him. He grew up dirt-poor, and I grew up alongside him, although I wasn’t exactly poor. Still, I know he didn’t travel anywhere when we were growing up. In my defense, he could’ve traveled when we went our separate ways for college.
“Anyway,” I say, taking a deep breath. “This place is a stop along the way to somewhere else. I just don’t know where yet. I’m wandering.”
“Not all who wander are lost,” they say in unison, as if they’re reading the front of a T-shirt at an outdoor supply store. Most people would laugh and share a look after saying the same thing at the same time, delighting in their ability to be on the same page. But not Lennon and Finn. They don’t need to do that, because finding themselves on the same page isn’t remarkable anymore. It’s typical. It reinforces the painful truth. Maybe Lennon really did make the right choice.
I see it on Lennon’s face instantly. The guilt.
She covers it up, smiling out of one side of her mouth. I may not have won in the fight for her heart, but she’s still my best friend, and IthinkI have an idea what she’s thinking.
“You’re a good guy, Brady.”
I tip my head up, acknowledging her compliment.
We chat for a few more minutes, and I invent an excuse to hang up.
“Bye, you two.”
“Bye,” they respond, and Lennon waves. The concerned look is back on her face.
I hit the end button before I have to spend another microsecond looking at her worried expression. I don’t want to be reminded of why she’s wearing that look.
