Brady’s voice comes from the spot where we ate lunch. I get closer, each second his shape becoming more and more visible.
“What are you doing?” I ask when I reach him.
“I need some air.”
“In the rain?”
He looks away. I grab his hand, but he pulls it back.
“Go, Lennon. I know it’s Finn. He’s the right choice. Just go.”
“No.” I shake my head stubbornly.
My T-shirt sticks to my skin, I taste rainwater, and my teeth chatter. And yet, I can’t pull myself away from him.
Brady watches me, his lips forming a thin line.
“What do you want, Lennon?”
“Tell me what makes you mad, Brady. Tell me something.”
Brady’s lips move, as though they’ve made the decision before his brain has.
He stands up and grabs me, his hands on my upper arms. “I hate doing this with you. Part of me wants you to be my normal best friend so that things will never change and I’ll never have to risk losing you. The other part of me wants to shake you and make you see that I’m the right choice.The only choice.” His eyes widen as the words flow. “After all these years, Lennon, how could you love anybody besides me? It hurts, Lennon. It hurts so fucking bad. Every time I see you with him, it kills me. We’re not kids anymore. We’re adults, and that has to mean something. We can’t play these games. There is no more dancing around the situation because we still live with our parents, or because college is in our future. We’re in the real world now. There are no more roadblocks. There’s only me”—he extends one arm all the way out, and the second arm in the opposite direction—“and him.” His hands come back to my shoulders. “And there’s you in the middle, where you’ve always been. I know it’s safe in the middle. That’s where you get love from both of us. And love is not what you’ve had enough of in your life. But dammit, Lennon, that can’t be your crutch anymore. You’ve got to choose.”
I can’t tell if it’s tears or rain dripping down my cheeks. He’s right. But how can I choose? How can I look one of them in the eye and tell them it’s the other one?
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. “I’m not ready. I love you both so much.”
“Soon, Lennon.” Brady’s voice is rough.
I nod, but my agreement is weak. I can’t fathom choosing between them.
Brady stares at me though the rain. “Laine is right.”
“About what?”
“It’s going to happen in a split-second. One moment, you’ll suddenly know. It’ll be like a light turning on.”
I capture my lower lip between my teeth, biting down. I can’t imagine how Laine could be right. All these years, distilled into one second?
“Hey!” Finn’s voice sounds faint in the wind and rain. “Are you two just about done? We figured out the sleeping arrangement.” He looks at us for all of two seconds and goes back inside.
“Come on,” Brady says, slipping an arm over my shoulders. “I hope you have some clothes to change into.”
“I brought a change of clothes for tomorrow. I can sleep in those.”
We get to the house and Brady holds open the door for me. I step inside and Laine greets us both with the towels.
“Finn figured it out,” she says, pointing behind her. Two sleeping bags lie near each other.
I’m confused, but I don’t feel like challenging her. “Uh... okay?”
She rubs my shoulders through the towel. “I hope you feel like spooning, because you and I are in one.” She glances at Brady. “And you have the other.”
“Where’s Finn sleeping?” Brady and I ask in unison.
Laine steps away from me. “He’s sleeping in his truck cab. He’s already out there, and he said not to let either one of you go out there and argue with him. He told me I could use brute force if need be.”
