“Thank you.” The words trickle out slowly, and a pleased smile curves my lips.
“It wasn’t until the final summer that—”
“I didn’t kill him.”
She holds my gaze. “I know that.”
“Then why hold it against me?” If only I could post that question on a billboard. I’d love to ask all the owners of the curious looks, the suspicious glances.
Her fingers brush her lower lip, taking with them a swipe of the petal pink lipstick she’s wearing. “It was more about Brady than you. We feared for him. For what could happen to him because of that situation. And at the time, nobody knew what had gone on. Was Ted killed? Did he die of natural causes? Why were three teenagers being questioned?” She takes a breath. “How would you feel if you had a child who’d been implicated, simply by being friends with someone?”
My fingernail runs the length of my thigh as I consider her question. It’s hard to think about me having a child. After all the horror I’ve seen, I prefer adoption. Of course, my adopted child will be my own, just the same as one I grew inside me, and the longer I think of what Mrs. Sterling has asked me, the easier it is to see her position.
“I see what you mean.” My admittance brings relief to her face.
She reaches out, covering my hand with her own. It’s warm and soft, and unexpected tears blur my vision.
“I’m sorry I hurt your feelings back then. Even as adults, we don’t always make the best choice.”
Nodding, I accept her apology and blink back my tears.
Movement in the yard calls my attention outside. The three men walk closer, Brady in the lead. Behind him, Mr. Sterling and Finn appear to be in deep conversation. I’ve seen them speak only a handful of times, and I’m curious to know what topic they’re discussing.
As I watch them come closer, six words I don’t mean to say slip from between my lips.
“Some choices are hard to make.”
Mrs. Sterling follows my gaze. She turns back to me, her eyebrows raised. Just before the guys reach the door, she says, “They both love you. They always have. One day…” The rest of her sentence is drowned out by the din made by all three men as they come inside. Brady says something to his mom, and the other two are chuckling loudly.
Mrs. Sterling sends me a meaningful glance as we both stand. She walks to the island, reaching across it for the salad. Brady catches my gaze, his eyes holding curiosity and concern. In two long strides he’s beside me, his hand finding the small of my back.
“Everything okay in here?” He dips his head, his voice trickling down over me.
I relax into the pressure from his palm and the soothing movement of his thumb as it runs over the fabric of my sundress.
Looking up, I tell him everything is fine.
But inside, everything is not fine. Everything is a jumble. A typhoon. A tornado.
I don’t need to have heard Mrs. Sterling to know how that last sentence ended.
One day, you’ll have to choose.
16
Now
I’ve invitedFinn and Brady over to help me with the house. Their company makes the whole process of going through my mom’s things much more enjoyable. Plus, I haven’t seen them since dinner last night, and I already miss them.
Finn arrives first. When I open the door for him, I see Brady climbing from the car he’s parked on the street in front of my house. Finn’s arms circle my waist, pulling me in for a hug. At the same time, Brady catches sight of me and waves. I return Finn’s hug with one arm and use the other to wave back at Brady.
Just as I knew he would, Brady quickly hides his scowl and replaces it with a smile.
Finn pulls away and stands beside me, waiting with me while Brady leans into his passenger side and comes away with two bags of Chinese food.
Finn chuckles, and I know why he’s laughing.
“All you think about is food,” I yell out, so my voice reaches Brady across the yard.
