“Okay. Please explain to me what is going on. I'm so confused.”
For the past hour, I’ve had time to plan what to say, but right now in this moment all I manage to do is blurt out, “The baby might not be mine.”
Natalie gasps. Her fingers sail up to touch her parted lips. “Might not?”
I shake my head. “We're getting a blood test to confirm.”
“I…I thought it wasn't even a question.”
“Me neither,” I tell her. The amount of relief I feel overwhelms me, and on my face, I feel a grin that stretches from ear to ear. “We were supposed to find out the baby's gender today, so I went to her apartment to take her to the appointment. She didn't know I was coming, and I overheard her talking with her ex. I'm almost positive he's the father, Natalie. I would bet my life on it.”
“But you're not definite?” Hope dances in her eyes, but I can see her trying to quell it.
Every time we’ve gone to the movies in the past month, I sat beside her while I was dying to reach over and touch her. Now we are having this conversation, separated by a few feet, and I'm done with it.
Striding forward, I make it so we are separated by mere inches. Gripping her shoulders, I look into the eyes of the girl who stole my heart back when I didn’t know I had one. “It’s true that I don’t know what exactly is going to happen. But I do know that no matter what that test says, you’re my forever. You think you’re doing what’s best for me by backing out, but you’re not. I've learned that the hard way.”
“What if you are the father?"
“Then we'll deal with it. Together. Our situation might not look pretty from the outside, but it will be ours. I don't want to be without you, Natalie.” Reaching into my pocket, I pull out the rock and hold it up between us. “You stole my heart when we were seventeen, but I never acted on it. Then that night when you were in the bathtub, you asked me that question. We had so many rules surrounding our friendship, but you broke one that night. And then I realized we were only as strong as the breaking of one rule. Not because we were weak, Natalie, but because we’d been denying ourselves for so long.”
I continue. “I'm not perfect, you know that. My parents are unconventional, to say the least. I share an apartment with two guys, and I'm not a doctor.”
“I don't need you to be a doctor,” Natalie says tearfully. “I love your parents the way they are, and as much as I like Rob and Jasper, I hope that one day soon you won't live with them.” She takes the rock from my hand. “I don't need pretty, or perfect. I just need you.”
My body crashes against hers, my lips consume her. I touch her, I taste her. She is sunlight in the morning, a drop of dew sliding down a flower petal, a swath of moonlight late at night.
She is everything.
* * *
I’ve broughtNatalie to my parents Pound Ridge house for the weekend. We needed a place to escape to, a place where we can be alone, and just be us. No roommates interrupting us. No barking dogs, honking cabs, or previously made plans to get in our way.
We’ve been here less than seven hours and we’ve already made good use of the kitchen counter, the laundry room, and the big, fancy dining room table.
“Let’s never leave here,” Natalie murmurs, her face snuggled into my chest. We’re lying on the couch, watching the snow fall outside. Three more inches is expected by the end of the weekend. I’m hoping the forecaster is wrong and we’ll get ten more. Snowed in with Natalie sounds like exactly where I want to be.
“Sounds good to me.” I place a kiss on the top of her hair. She lifts her head so she can see me.
“I love you, Aidan.”
“I love you too, Nat.”
She wiggles against me, then glances down and laughs at the reaction she has gotten from me.
“Let me get a drink first. I swear you’re working me overtime.” She climbs off me and stretches. Reaching down, she snatches the blanket off me and wraps it around herself.
“Hey,” I complain. She laughs and walks from the room. While she’s gone, I get up and grab a blanket from the woven basket in the corner of the room. I sit back down and wait for Natalie to come back.
A few minutes later she returns, but her demeanor has changed.
“What?” I ask. Whatever it is, we’ll tackle it together.
She holds out my phone. “I was getting a drink and heard your phone. Allison sent you a message.”
Suddenly time suspends. The snow falls slower so that I can see the individual snowflakes tumbling to the ground. My heartbeats feel more spaced out. I haven’t heard from Allison since the day we went for the blood draw. Jared was late, which was fine by me. I gave my blood and got the hell out of there.
“What does it say?” I choke out.
