I look up into my mother’s knowing eyes.
“No more than that?” she asks.
“Natalie reacted the way I knew she would. She bowed out.”
“She wanted to give you the chance to explore this situation with Allison. She didn’t want to be in the way.” Dad places his hand over my mother’s. “I know someone else who is like that.”
Mom uses her free hand to pass over the top of Dad's hand. “Anyone who has ever said that love should only feel good, is a fool.”
It’s a famous line from the book she wrote about herself and my father’s relationship. It's been printed on T-shirts and mugs. Readers have tattooed it on themselves and then mailed their pictures to my mother.
I push around ice cubes with my straw. “I understand that. But does it have to feel so damn awful?”
“It can only feel really bad if at first it was really good.”
“Which book is that from?”
My mom taps her head with a finger. “That was from up here.” She moves her hand over her heart. “And here.”
For the rest of lunch, I tell them more about Allison. We talk about how far along she is, and by the end, my parents are hesitant but in the beginning phase of excitement. I promise to call them as soon as I know the gender. They would like to meet her, so I promise to make plans for that also.
We part ways, and I know my mother is on her way home to call Natalie. It's the first sliver of happiness I’ve felt since I saw Allison standing across the street from school on that snowy day. I only wish I was sharing in the happy news with her.
After what happened with Henry, and then me, Natalie deserves a win.
23
Natalie
I'min the middle of a complicated braid when my phone rings. I lean over, glance at the screen, and drop my hair.
“Diana, hi. How are you?” I brush aside the hair that has slipped out of the plait and into my eyes.
“Natalie! It's good to hear your voice. I've missed you.”
The apologetic tone of her voice tells me she knows about me and Aidan.
“I've missed you too.”
“I have to be honest, I didn't just call because I missed you. I have some good news for you.”
Thank fuck. I could use some.
“My editor loved your book. She wants to meet with you.”
I let out a noise, a cross between a squeal and what I imagine an otter sounds like. Diana laughs. “I told you the news was good.”
“That's the best news I've had in a while.” My nose starts to burn and I’m struggling to keep the happy tears at bay.
“So I've heard.”
“You have?”
“Aidan told us today, at lunch. How are you?”
“Not great,” I admit.
“I'm sorry, Natalie. This wasn't the way things were supposed to go.”
