“I know, but it sounded good.”
My phone rings again, and Savannah pulls it out from my purse. “Sydney again.” She holds it out to me. I take it with my left hand and answer the call.
“Hey, Syd, it's not a super great time to talk right now.”
“I’m coming for New Year’s!”
Her announcement distracts me from the pain in my right hand. “That's amazing. You can stay with us.” I look to Savannah, and she shrugs and nods. Angling the phone away from my lips, I mouth the words, “one night.”
Sydney starts talking about her finals at the same time that Dr. Decker walks back into the room. He slides a tray with various instruments on it onto the counter. “Sydney,” I interrupt her mid-sentence. “I have to run. No big deal, but I'm at urgent care. I cut my hand and I'm getting stitches.”
“What!” she shrieks. I pull the phone away from my ear. “Don't say any more, you know blood disgusts me.” Her words trickle out into the small room.
Dr. Decker smirks. “Me too.”
“Sydney, I have to go. The doctor thinks he's funny.” I glare jokingly at him. “Bye.”
Sydney is saying something else, but I hang up.
Dr. Decker is back on his stool. I hand the phone to Savannah, then look back at him. “Ready.”
He slips on gloves and tells me how this will go: disinfect, anesthetize, suture.
All his joking aside, he is a very good doctor. He has steady hands and a good bedside manner. If I ever need stitches again, I'll call him. Assuming he's not back in Austin by then, anyway.
When the procedure is finished, he pushes back from me and removes his gloves. He tosses them in the trash and washes his hands in the sink at the end of the counter. “You were a very good patient.”
“Do I get a lollipop?” I ask.
“Of course,” he says, laughing. “I don't have any, but you're more than welcome to pick one up on your way home.”
I point at Savannah. “Did you hear that? You're in charge of making sure I get a lollipop.”
“Actually.” Dr. Decker clears his throat. He looks uncertain for the first time since he walked in this exam room tonight. “Do you think I could take you for a lollipop sometime?”
I freeze. My ability to make witty banter has disappeared. “Oh. I, um…”
“Yes,” Savannah says, coming to stand beside me. “And guess what Natalie likes even more than lollipops? Gin and tonic.” Savannah loops her arm through mine. “I believe you already have her number? She filled out eleventy billion forms when we got here. Correction: I filled them out for her. You have permission to look at them for her number.”
Savannah’s sly complaint breaks through the awkwardness of the moment.
Dr. Decker opens the door. “Okay then. I guess I'll call you sometime.” He flashes that brilliant smile that he first walked in with, and then he's gone from sight. I'm sure there are many other people in need of his attention.
“Savannah,” I start, but she lifts her hand to quiet me.
“I know, I know. Not now. But someday, you might want that doctor to call you. And I didn't want you to miss the opportunity.”
It's precisely what I'm doing for Aidan. It might tear me up inside, but I want him to have this opportunity.
Knowing this makes me feel the tiniest fraction better. But even the tiniest fraction is not nearly enough to soothe the ache in my chest. I want to call Aidan and tell him what happened tonight, but I'm afraid. What if he is with her?
This is precisely why some people would've told us not to be together. If things were as they were before, and Allison was pregnant, Aidan would still be the person I tell my nothings to. Nothings are what truly bond us to someone else. Nothings are the unimportant moments in a day, the ones you would never think to share with most people.The cashier at Duane Reade gave me a dirty look.The mean girl from high school sent me a friend request.
That night in a hotel room, and the two weeks that followed, altered us irrevocably.
I love Savannah, and I love Sydney, but I miss my best friend.
Who will hear my nothings now?
