Ugh. Knife in the chest. Turn the knife, carve out my heart. Connor loves me. I love Connor. And yet, I’m in greater danger than I knew. By extension, so is he. So is everyone here in Brighton. Connor, Walt, Julia.
I’ll tell him in two days, after his show. I’ll tell him I love him, and I’ll tell him about the door and the note. He should know there is still a threat, that I’m leaving for a good reason.
For dinner I make chicken marsala and two cupcakes, and I take it all to Walt’s. I’m not ready to tell him goodbye, so I don’t. He will be my last stop on my way out of town. Walt sings to me, a gravelly rendition of Happy Birthday, and it’s the best song I’ve ever heard. When I get home, my heart is more conflicted than ever, even though I know what I have to do.
That night, I sleep with Connor’s note under my pillow.
22
Brynn
Knock knock knock.
I jolt upright. Sunlight pours in through the blinds. What time is it? I look around, trying to get my bearings.
Knock knock knock.
Oh, right. The door. I climb from bed and go to the front door. Peering through the peephole, I see Cassidy’s worried face.
Sliding the door alarm out of the way with my foot, I unlock the double locks at the same time and open the door.
“Hi, Cassidy.” The bright sky makes my eyes squint.
She looks at my pajama top and boxers. To be fair, I’m wearing a shirt that says ‘GFY.’ I don’t really mean it. It’s supposed to be funny, but I’m awareGo Fuck Yourselfis crude and that young kids can read, so it’s a sleep shirt. Just like mytwatshirt.
“Are you just now waking up?”
I shrug. “I couldn’t sleep last night.”
Cassidy nods empathetically. “I understand.”
I really hope she doesn’t understand. I pray she never knows the nightmares that plagued me last night. They were the ones I had right after the accident, where I dream I hit Amy and Samuel on purpose.
“What’s up?” I lean against the open door and wait for her to answer.
She twists her hands in front of her. Her gaze is apprehensive. “So, there’s this guy I like and I’ve been waiting forever for him to ask me on a date. He called twenty minutes ago and asked me out for lunch.Today. The only problem is that I can’t find a sitter on such short notice. I really, really want to go and I don’t have a day off for another week.” She peeks over my shoulder. “Is Connor here, by chance? I don’t see his truck, but I thought maybe…”
“Connor isn’t here,” I say irritably. It’s not her fault, and I remind myself that as I ask her why she can’t take Brooklyn on the date. If the guy likes Cassidy, he better like Brooklyn too.
Cassidy gives me a look that tells me how hopeless I am. “Can you come over and play with her for an hour? Max two? You can even put on a movie.” She makes prayer hands at me. “Please? She likes you.”
Maybe it’s the fact that I’m leaving in two days. Maybe it’s my desire to do something nice for Cassidy. She greeted me on day one with a pie. Maybe that’s why I say yes, even though Brooklyn still terrifies me.
“I’ll be over in twenty, is that okay?” I need to change and grab something to eat.
“Yes!” Cassidy raises a fist. “Thank you. I’ll make it up to you, I promise.”
She turns to leave, and I shut the door.
* * *
The insideof Cassidy’s house looks like a toy store projectile vomited in a small, enclosed space. Dolls and stuffed animals, crayons, building blocks, paper, and even game pieces are everywhere. In the center of it all sits Brooklyn, playing some kind of game with plastic shapes. When she sees me, she tosses the game aside, the pieces flying into the air.
“Brynn!” She runs to me and wraps her arms around my knees.
“Hi, Brooklyn.” I wobble and catch myself on the doorjamb.
Cassidy laughs and shrugs. “She loves you.”
