“You were with him, weren’t you?” Fury makes his lips quiver. I’ve never seen him so upset. Then again, I’ve never spent the night with another guy.
“Yes, but—”
“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” he yells, throwing his hands in the air.
Sky comes from her room, glancing between us with frightened eyes.
“Matt, calm down.” My palms meet in front of me, and I make a pleading motion. “Nothing happened. I promise. I fell asleep at his hotel room. I know it sounds bad.”
“It sounds pretty fucking bad, Ember.”
“I know, and I’m sorry, but nothing happened. I promise.”
Matt blows out a long, heavy breath. “Why were you there?”
I look down at my hands. This is the question I still don’t know the answer to. I was hurting, and I went to him. I don’t know how else to explain it, but I do know that reason won’t do anything to make Matt feel any better.
“He’s an old friend—”
“This again?” Matt tips his head back and laughs, though the sound is anything but happy. “He’s an old friend,”he says in a girlish voice, making air quotes with his fingers.
“He is.” My words slip through clenched teeth. It would be nice if Matt would sit down and hear me out.
“I’m a pretty smart guy, Ember. Watch me do the math.” He lifts a finger to his chin and tips up his head, pretending to think. “Ember’s high school virginity plus one soccer star rushing to her after his surgery, divided by the annoying-as-fuck pleading looks you give one another, equals Matt and Ember are no longer engaged.”
Sky slipped from the hall while Matt was talking and now stands beside me. She opens her mouth but I’m faster. “Matt, if you would calm down and listen, I can explain.”
“Are you going to explain where your ring went?”
I look down at my bare finger. “It’s too big for me, Matt. I need to have it sized.”
Saying the words out loud makes me consider why it’s so big. I have other rings in my jewelry box, he could’ve taken one and had the engagement ring sized correctly. But that would’ve taken time, and it’s becoming clear to me something had lit a fire under Matt.
“Maybe you need to think about what you really want, Ember. You don’t seem too clear on the matter.”
“Matt—”
“I’m going to the office. You have until close of business today to tell me what you want.” He storms past me. “Your breakfast is on the table,” he mutters.
My shoulders jump when the screen door slams shut.
I blow past the kitchen and head straight out into the backyard. I’ve planted flowers everywhere, and a big tree sits in the corner. A vegetable garden is opposite the tree, and in the middle is a little couch. It’s not an outdoor piece of furniture, so I have to keep it covered. The antique wooden back is painted blush pink, and its ornately carved legs curl into the soft green grass. I added polka-dot cream colored cushions. It’s impractical but I love it.
Pulling off the tan cover, I brush off some stray dried leaves and lie down. Sky follows me out, folding herself into a seat right on the soft green grass. I wish my mom was here too, but right now she’s fighting a battle nobody knows the size or duration of yet. Her problem is infinity times more important than mine.
Looking up into the blue sky, I open my mouth and talk into the warm, moist morning air, telling Sky everything.
I talk until I’m spent. Then we go inside, and get ready to head back to the hospital.
31
Noah
I never thoughtI’d reach a day when this would make me happy. What I just did should have me shaken to my core. I should be looking back over a lifetime of practices, games, sweat, and dedication.
All my life spent working on this one thing, and all it took to end it were a few words.
“Playing professionally was my dream, and you helped me achieve it. I will always be grateful you chose me, but it’s time for me to move on.”
