John crosses a booted foot over one knee and leans back in his chair. “Once, I was bear-hunting with my friend David. We'd just gotten back to the truck, and it was nearly dark. I sat on my tailgate, and I was drinking a beer. I heard a rattle and said to David, “Do you hear that?” David said no, and I thought maybe I was just hearing things. A few moments later, I heard it again. I got down and shined a flashlight under my truck. Sure as shit, there was a rattlesnake under there. The damn thing had a rat in its mouth.” John shakes his head. “Only reason it didn't biteme.”
My mouth hangs open. Every rattlesnake I’ve ever seen has been behind an inch of protective glass. “That'scrazy.”
“I've done a lot and seen a lot, but that was the closest I've come to being badly hurt.” He nods slowly. His voice is nonchalant, like the smooth surface of still water. No ripples from wind, no movement from a current. Still andsteady.
John watches Claire pour sand through a sieve into another container. Inside I hear the banging of dishes. It's almost as loud as the Bob Seger music Aubrey turned on when she gotstarted.
“Bob Seger, huh?” I say off-handedly. “Not what I would've expected fromAubrey.”
At this, John smiles. “Aubs likes her Seger.Old Time Rock n Rollis her favorite. I played it when she was younger. Back when my old Chevy broke down every week and I'd spend Saturday's getting it running again. She sat on my toolbox and handed me tools. Usually the wrong ones.” John's nostalgic grin reaches his ears. “She called them ChevyDays.”
I chuckle, picturing Claire as a young Aubrey, handing me tools. I don't know how to fix trucks, so I've placed us in the OR. The tools probably have similarfunctions.
John leans forward, elbows on his knees. “Isaac, I hope you understand how special Aubrey is tome.”
I mimic his posture. “Of course Ido.”
“And you know about her mother?” He meets my eyes. When I nod, he looks back to hishands.
“Aubrey doesn't let people in. Not readily, anyway. What she's doing with you goes against hernature.”
“She's doing it for Claire, I think.” It hurts even saying it, but I know it'strue.
John nods. “Yeah, she is. But I think in time, she might come the point where she's doing it for herselftoo.”
I don't say anything. I'm not sure what John's getting at. And I can only hope that he'sright.
“What I need to know is if you asked them to move in just so you can be a full-time father to Claire. Didyou?”
I sit back, my eyes on Claire. She brushes sand off her barelegs.
“Yes...and no. My goal is to be a father to Claire. But my hope…" I glance behind my shoulder, inside the house, but I don't see Aubrey. I lower my voice anyway. “My hope is that Aubrey will see we need to be a family. That we'd make a really, really good one. That we'd probably have been one this whole time if we'd exchanged last names five yearsago.”
John looks at me sharply. I'd like to look away, but I don't. He wants to stare me down for creating a baby with his daughter before I really knew her. I get it. Because I have a daughter of my ownnow.
His gaze stays on me for a few more seconds, then he goes back to watchingClaire.
“Good luck.” He says. “Aubrey's as tough as they come. She shoots from the hip and she doesn't playgames.”
I agree with John, but only to a point. I've seen Aubrey's softness. It may be well-hidden, but it's there, and she gives it freely to the people she loves. Her tough exterior is love-soluble. I've made a career out of fixing broken bones. And I know I can fix her brokenheart.
“I understand.” John is a lot like Aubrey. Or I guess Aubrey is a lot like John. His exterior is more weathered than Aubrey's, but it functions thesame.
“Dad.” Aubrey steps from the house, one hand planted on her hip, the other holding out a grayish ball of...lint?
John's eyes flick over to her. When he sees what she's holding, his eyebrows squish together, and he looksaway.
“Every time, Dad. You have to do it every time. I told you already. It's a fire hazard.” Aubrey’s exasperated. I'm still trying to understand what’shappening.
“I will, Aubs.” John reassures her, but he sounds a little petulant. Like a teenager being scolded by a mother. Or a husband nagged by hiswife.
My back teeth clamp down on my cheek to keep from laughing. These two have the most unique relationship I've ever seen. And I thought my mom and I weredifferent.
Aubrey thinks she and I are so dissimilar, but we're not. What has bonded her and John is the same thing that has bonded my mom and me. It goes beyond the normal and into the realm of sharedbrokenness.
“Claire, baby, come inside for a snack,” Aubrey calls out. Claire stands up and comes to us, smiling. Alwayssmiling.
She stops in front of John. “I made a castle with a moat. Because there's an army of monsters who want to get in. And the moat has alligators init.”
