“It’s all going to work out, Aubs.” He disappears down thehall.
I want to yell after him, ask him how he can be sosure.
“Wow, Aubrey, I have to say it. I’m hurt.” Britt stands in the front yard, one hand on her hip, the other lost in the bowels of a maroon foam finger. She pumps her arm like she’s at a game and cheerssilently.
“You can have it.” I know perfectly well she threw hers away years ago. Britt doesn’t keepthings.
She playfully narrows her eyes at me and drops the giant hand. The pointed foam finger nearly touches the ground. “Can Iplease?”
“Britt, I have to get rid of stuff. I can’t take that into Isaac’shouse.”
“Fine, fine. Don’t keep a memento of the game that launched our friendship.” She fakecries.
I laugh. “OK. Put it in the savepile.”
She pumps her arm and smacks herself a high five, shouting “Right next to the breast pump I rescued.” She runs back into the house just as Isaac pullsup.
“Cordova moving service, here to help you,” he says loudly from his open window, then grabs the bill of his baseball cap and tips his head. He gets out and comes around the front of histruck.
“I didn’t know I hired a professional,” I yell back before picking up a box from the patio where Britt has been setting them down. We have an assembly line going. My dad’s keeping Claire occupied in the backyard.
Isaac strides across the yard and takes the box from my arms. “The pro can take it fromhere.”
I frown. I don’t needthatmuchhelp.
He’s already at the bed of his truck, sliding my box across. I pick up another box and hurry to my car, placing it in the trunk. When I turn around he’s shaking his head atme.
“Well, well, well. We meetagain.”
We both turn to find Britt on the porch, setting down another box. She wipes her hands on her jeans and walks down the steps. Isaac meets her halfway, his hand extended, but Britt hugshim.
She steps back and surveys him, one eye closed from the sun’s glare. “Five years ago I gave you the green light, but I didn’t know you had superswimmers.”
“Britt!” I smack the top of herarm.
Isaac laughs. Likealways.
“What can I say? I eat a lot of protein.” He shrugs, and now Britt’s the onelaughing.
I huff. “I’m glad you both find this soamusing.”
Britt curls a hand around my shoulder. “Aw, we can joke now Aubrey. It’s all over.” She leans into me. “Or it’s just getting started.” Her whisper tickles my ear. I reach up to rub away thesensation.
She steps away. “Just a couple more boxes to go. Aubrey, come help me carry them out. I’m sure Isaac can load all that”—she tosses a thumb back at the stacks on the porch—“into histruck.”
“On it.” Isaac goes for the first box on the stack. I don’t miss the pull in the arms of his T-shirt when he lifts the box. And neither doesBritt.
Once we're in the house and safely out of earshot, she grabs my arm and pretends to swoon. “Oh, my. Dr. Cordova just added about ten degrees to the outside temperature. And it’s already almostsweltering.”
“I know,” I say under my breath, even though there's no way he can hear me. Through the open door I watch him cross the yard again, coming back to the porch for another box. I pull her down the hall to my room and say in my normal voice, “He’s not lacking in the attractivedepartment.”
“No, he’s not.” She shakes her head. “Or in the personality department. Or the career department. Or the family one.” She slides me a pointed look. “He’s a dream come true. Literally. He’s your dream of having a perfect family, come true.” She goes to my closet and pulls open the door. “So why are you holding back?” She doesn’t look at what’s inside the closet, just at me. Obviously she already knows what I’ve left inthere.
My sigh is deep, with a little groan thrown in. I don’t know how to explain why I’m keeping extra clothes and shoes for me and Claire in there. Safeguards, maybe. Myjust in casepile. When you’ve spent your whole life protecting yourself, you don’t just turn it off like a light switch. The night doesn’t automatically give way to the day. It goes in stages. And I can’t jump all-in with Isaac. I just…can’t.
“We’re becoming roommates for the sake of our daughter, Britt. We’re not involved romantically. There is no ‘holdingback.’”
But there is, and she knowsit.
