My dad smiles at me over Claire’s head. He came home from hunting late last Tuesday night and got an earful from me about checking in. “Who needs a wife with a daughter like you?” he’d griped. Then he stomped around the kitchen while he made himself dinner. I went tobed.
By the next morning we were fine. We hardly ever bicker. We’re a team. Two halves of the same whole. Besides, I think our real problem is that we’re afraid to live apart from eachother.
Pretty soon, that’s just what we’re going to do. Because this thing with Isaac is bigger than me. Bigger than myfear.
I’m going to tell Isaac today, when I see him at his parents’house.
“I’m so excited, Mommy.” Claire’s bouncing in her car seat as we wave goodbye to my dad. He turns for the house, and I drive away, wishing he’d said yes when I invited him to come withus.
“Me too, baby.” I hope she doesn't pick up on the hesitation in my voice. The nerves in my stomach have grown exponentially as the day has progressed. I’ll consider myself lucky if I make it through the drive without hurling into the passengerseat.
“Harlow has a daddy, too. And a grandma and grandpa. Just likeme.”
I catch her face in the rearview, see the happy smile and bobbing head. What would it be like to live life like Claire? With a heart openwide?
Claire chatters to herself and to me. She informs me of the shape of the stop sign, makes sure I know a bird flew past our car at a stoplight, and softly sings a song about a chicken who couldn’t lay anegg.
I follow the directions spouting from my phone until we pull up to the address Isaac sent me lastnight.
“Are we here?” Claire asks, kicking the back of my seat in an excitedrhythm.
I peer out the windshield. The house is older, ranch style, with a big front yard. Mature citrus trees line the west perimeter of the lawn, creating a wall of deep green leaves. There isn’t any fruit on them now, but I bet in winter they are bursting with vibrantcolor.
Isaac steps from the house and makes his way down the front walk. He’s waving. Seeing him kicks me intoaction.
“Hi,” I call, getting out of the car. I saw him last night for Claire’s tuck in, just like every night, but he looked tired. I almost suggested he sleep on the sofa, but the words stuck in my throat. Despite what I’m going to tell him today, having him sleep at my dad’s felt tooclose.
He jogs the last few feet to us, heading for Claire’s door. “How are my girls doing?” His face is litup.
My insides quiver. From happiness at being called his girl? Or just morenerves?
“We’re good.” I force asmile.
Isaac pulls Claire from the car and up into his arms, careful to put her on his left side, so her cast faces out. Claire wraps her good arm around hisneck.
He knocks on her cast with two knuckles. “I’m glad you went withblue.”
She beams at him. I stand there awkwardly, not sure what to do or say. Then I remember the gift I picked up for his mother and go to the passenger side, where I grab it from thefloor.
“Ready?” Isaacasks.
Inod.
“My mom is probably hovering by the window watching us right now. She’s been driving me nuts since I got here.” He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, and I feel that familiar stab in my chest. What would it be like to have a mom to roll my eyesat?
He leads me to the house, Claire still in his arms, and the door opens before we get to it. A woman with shoulder-length dark hair stands on the threshold, a smile as big and ready as Isaac’s on her face.He must get it fromher.
Her shiny eyes are on Claire, fingertips pressed to herlips.
“Mom, this is Claire.” Isaac steps to the right, so I’m fully in view. “And Aubrey. This is my mother,Lucia.”
Lucia comes to life. She leaves her spot in the doorway and closes the few feet that separate us. Her arms are open, and she comes to mefirst.
Me.
Before I can register what’s happening, she pulls me in. She’s soft and warm, and she smells like honey and vanilla. My chest aches. When she pulls back, I feelsad.
“Aubrey, it’s wonderful to meet you.” Her face is inches from mine, her smile lovely. Genuine. She turns to Claire andIsaac.
