It dawns on me that she’s choosing to ignore what I’ve just told her. “Nine itis.”
She leaves, the door falling shut behind her. I go to lock it, and when I turn around the glittery breast picture catches my eye. My stride across the room is purposeful. I want that picture out of sight. With one hand, I remove it and set it on the floor so it faces the wall.Picture time-out.
I fall back, letting the couch catch me, and lay my head against the back of it. Thoughts run amok in my brain. And they're all about one person. A girl with raven hair and eyes blue like anocean.
Aubrey is a complex creature. Layered. And every moment I spend around her makes me want to spend more moments around her, until they become hours and days andyears.
What thehell?
I barely know Aubrey. She might as well have warning signs written all over her. Every movement of her body says to stay away. The pushed-out hip, the sharp angles of her arms that are almost always crossed in front of her. And those eyes. So guarded. But not dull. You'd think someone who spends her life keeping people at a distance would have lifeless eyes, but she doesn't. Every time I’ve seen Aubrey, her eyes are alight with some kind of fire. Like she's perpetually ready to fight, to defend, to protect. Herself. AndClaire.
Aubrey is a fighter. The quiet kind. The kind that doesn’t have to beat her chest to demonstrate her strength. She reminds me of my dad. I should consider myself lucky she's being so accommodating with Claire and leave italone.
That's exactly what I'm going to do. It's what I have todo.
Why can’ttext messages have a recall button? I should’ve kept my mouth shut like I did at his house, but no. I just had to lie down tonight and overthink and text. Because everyone knows texts sent after midnight aresensible.
About Jenna… Is it reallyover?
Ten excruciating minutes later:So you did hearme.
Me:Was it about Claire? Is that why she broke up withyou?
Isaac:Yes andno.
Me:Which one isit?
Isaac:Isn’t this a conversation we should have face toface?
Me:No.
Isaac:It went far beyond Claire. But she was theimpetus.
I release a gigantic sigh of relief into my dark room. Now that I know that, I feelbetter.
Me:Are you using fancy doctor words onme?
Isaac:???
Me:Your request to go to the zoo tomorrow was the impetus of thisconversation.
Isaac:Are you using fancy doctor words onme?
I can’t stop the smile that spreads across mycheeks.
Me:Nope. But if you’re lucky I’ll use some fancy insurance words onyou.
Isaac:I look forward toit.
Me:See youtomorrow.
Isaac:Good night, mamabear.
I set my phone on the nightstand. The temptation to keep talking to him is too strong. I don’t even want to begin thinking about the fact that he’s single now. Or that my daughter is thereason.
* * *
“Areyou sure you don't want to come with us today?” I ask my dad, whose back is to me. Spatula in hand, he pushes eggs around a pan on thestove.
