“I’m taking you somewhere tonight, and you’re not saying no. I’ll drag you bound and gagged if I haveto.”
I point toward my window, where the driving rain pelts the glass and runs down inrivulets.
She crosses her arms. “It’s supposed to let up soon. Besides, you won’t melt if you get wet. Actually, you'll dry first. Can't keep Arizona heat behind the clouds forlong."
I want to keep arguing with her, but I don’t have the heart. Britt is used to getting her way. And she’s never had a guy dump her. Britt dates but doesn’t get involved. It’s herthing.
Because I love her, and because her intentions are good, I get ready like she asked meto.
Under a shared umbrella, we walk to the street of bars near our apartment. It isn’t until she pulls me to the last in the row that Ibalk.
I point to the neon sign with the cowboy on a bull. “RodeoMike’s?”
Britt rolls her eyes. “There’s no way Owen will show up here. That’s why I chose it. It’s not hisscene.”
She’s right.I guess tonight this isourscene. Britt invited the three girls who live in the apartment below us, and they’ve texted that they’re already here. Jasmine, Maize, and Erin never say no to a bar. Or a good time. Or a party. Or much of anything,really.
The bar is loud and bright. I take three steps inside and turn around. This was a mistake. I can’t take the band with its upbeat music, the couples on the wooden dance floor twisting and turning. Britt was wrong. What I needed tonight was something dark and brooding, like a martini bar where you could barely see a hand in front of yourface.
Someone’s grabbing me, pulling me back. “Just give it a chance.” Britt whispers. She tugs me along withher.
Jasmine orders a round while Britt leads us to an emptytable.
“Sit,” she orders. “Close your eyes and take a deep breath.” I do as she says, taking in the scent of wood, perfume, cologne, and beer. When I open my eyes, she’s watchingme.
“You made it.” Her chin tilts up, pride shines in hereyes.
“To where? Here?” I tap one finger on the table. I know what she’s getting at, but I don’t want theaccolade.
Jasmine returns, her arms full of drinks, and sets them on the table. Britt grabs a bottle for me and a bottle forher.
“You made it through the first two weeks. It’ll only get easier from here.” She gently knocks the top of her bottle tomine.
I drink with her. “You’re not exactly anexpert.”
She shrugs. “I have eyes. I’ve seen it enough times toknow.”
A twirl of yellow behind Britt’s head catches my attention. I lean left so I can follow the movement of the yellow dress, and the woman it’s attached to, on the dance floor. She’s as affixed to the man with her as the clingy dress is to her. The music is up-tempo, but they dance slowly, swaying to their own song. In my head I hear something old and sultry, maybe Etta James. My cheeks heat just watching them, the way their bodies mold against one another. I look away, feeling like an intruder despite the fact that they’re in a publicplace.
Britt’s upper half swivels, and she watches them too. When she turns back to me, her eyes light up,mischievous.
“You know what you need?” She smiles around the mouth of her beerbottle.
“Nope.” My lips make a popping sound as I enunciate the p. I know what she’s thinking, and it’s not going tohappen.
“Ohhhh, yes, you do.” She lifts a solitary finger. “One night. No stringsattached.”
I wrinkle mynose.
“Stop.” She holds up a hand. “Just stop. You’re heartbroken.” Her hand moves to her chest. “Owen let go of the best person I know. Forget about him tonight. Forget abouteverything.Please?”
Her blue eyes plead, and I know what she’s really asking of me. She wants me to stop lingering in that place, the one where my thoughts grow maudlin. She wants me to stop before I begin to compare Owen’s departure to that of my mother. She’s asking me not to do what I’ve alreadydone.
I’m so flawed they couldn’tstay.
I’m theatrocity.
It’s my fault they’veleft.
