Claire looks at him with her big, brown eyes and nods. He bends down and shows her hisstethoscope.
“I’m going to listen to your heart with this,OK?”
“I know what that is.” Claire’s little voice rings out. “I’m a big fan ofstethoscopes.”
I stifle a laugh. The doctor and nurse fall in love with Claire instantly, I see it in their eyes. It’s the first Claire-like sentence she has spoken inhours.
Dr. Green smiles and asks Claire how she gothurt.
“I was playing soccer and my feet got tangled underneath me and Ifell.”
Listening to her talk about her injury makes my stomach ache. Dr. Green nods while she speaks, then he finishes examiningher.
He tells Claire he’s going to make her feel better and take some pictures of her arm. Turning to the nurse, he orders pain medicine and x-rays.
I lay Claire down on the bed, where she takes the medicine like a champ, but when we get to the x-ray room, she clings to me. Finally the x-ray techs give up trying to get me out of the room and drape a lead apron over me. I sit beside Claire, holding her goodhand.
Once we’re back in the emergency room bay, we wait some more. My dad takes out his phone and finds the PBS Kidsapp.
“WordGirl, please.” Claire’s request is so typical, it reminds me how constant children can be. All this drama, but she still loves what sheloves.
Claire is on the bed, my Dad’s phone propped up on a pillow that lies across her lap. Dad sits in the empty chair besideme.
“How’re you holding up,Aubs?”
I groan under my breath, my eyes fixated on Claire. Blades of green grass stand out against the white bottoms of the cleats she’s still wearing. Her soccer uniform is too big, the shorts folded over twice to fit her tiny waist. The hospital bed dwarfsher.
“I wish it were me.” My eyes pinch as I try to maintain my composure. “She’s only four. I’m twenty-six, and I have no idea what she’s feeling right now. I hate knowing she’s inpain.”
“The worst thing for a parent is to watch their child suffer.” He says it like heknows.
“And a grandparent, too, huh?” This can’t be easy for him either. Grandpas are people who sneak you donuts when your parents aren’t looking. He’s that and more toClaire.
“Of course. But I was saying it from the perspective of a parent. Watching you suffer was hell onEarth.”
My confusion pulls my attention from Claire and to my dad. “I’ve never injured myself. Did something happen I don’t knowabout?”
His smile is sad. “Your mom. All your life I’ve watched you miss her, maybe less now that you have Claire. But so many times I saw the pain in your eyes, even though you never spoke a word of it. And there was nothing I could do to end your suffering.” He shakes his head as if it’s heavy, the white hair in his two-day-old stubble glinting in the fluorescent lights. “It’s a hurt that lasts a lifetime. I’m sorry she did that to you. I’m even sorrier I couldn’t give you pain medicine and make itbetter.”
His words wash over me. This man, who stays quiet when most people talk, has just said more about my pain than I ever knew he understood. I lay my hand on hisshoulder.
“It’s OK, Dad. It wasn’t your place to end my suffering. She should’ve never inflicted it. And you’re right, I think about her less often since Claire wasborn.”
Dad’s hand covers mine, and he squeezes. Dr. Green pushes back the curtain and steps in, followed by a nurse. Dad and Istand.
“How are her x-rays?” Iask.
“It’s a pretty bad break.” He holds out a tablet with the images of the x-rays on the screen. “See this?” He points to a spot above her elbow, his finger moving along a line that cuts clean through it. “That’s the break. It’s called supracondylar, and it’s going to require surgery.” His gaze flicks to me. I think he’s trying for sympathetic, but it doesn’t resonate. This is just another day at the office forhim.
“Surgery?” I look at my dad as if somehow he can make this allbetter.
“When?” My dadasks.
“ASAP. We’re bringing in a doctor from another hospital now. He specializes in pediatric orthopedic surgeries. He’s the best. Noquestion.”
“What happens next?” My dad asks the question that’s in my head. My brain is still tripping over the idea of Claire’s little body in a surgical setting.Anesthesia… Iodine…Oxygen…
A shudder snakes its way down my body. I take a breath and try to focus on what Dr. Green is saying instead of my ownfear.
