Backing away, needing to put some distance between us, my hands shake slightly while I smooth my dress down. As much as I don’t want to cower or seem weak in front of him, I can’t meet his gaze.
I turn down the hall and keep going, putting as much distance between myself and what just happened. What almost happened beyond that. Every step away from him feels harder to complete than it should.
Everything moves by me in a blur, and when I reach the room he had assigned to me, I close it firmly behind me before leaning against it and closing my eyes. My heart races still, and my head’s a complete mess.
What did I do? What did I allow him to do?
It was all too much and too far. The drinks, flirting, dancing, and his lips on mine. The way he looked at me like I was the only person who mattered.
I tried so hard to hate him and push him away for everything he forced on me, but tonight, I slipped. I let him in, and I had no qualms about it.
I almost let those urges get away from me.
Pulling in a shaky breath, I move into the closet and catch sight of myself in the full-length mirror. For a moment, I don’t even recognize the version of me looking back.
My lips are swollen from kissing him, my eyes are glassy and blown wide with whatever emotions I don’t want to acknowledge right now.
I was supposed to be strong, and I was supposed to resist him above all else.
But he got to me. Somehow, he managed to sneak his way in and lower my defenses.
He’s Sergey Lukov, for Christ's sake. I never should’ve let him get that far.
He represents the very thing I’ve been running from since I was a teen. He is the corruption, manipulation, and arrogance I never wanted to surround myself with. He’s the danger I’ve brushed against without fully submerging myself, and now, I don’t know how I’m going to come back from it.
What terrifies me more than anything is how I willingly let him.
That weakness gnaws at my insides, but right beside it, the want lingers.
Something in me still wants to give in. To turn back around and finish what we started, but I can’t.
It can’t happen, and I can’t lose control like that again.
Sergey stalked me for weeks, then, when he felt like it, he broke into my condo and abducted me. He forced me to marry him, a near-perfect stranger, and now he has me living in his place against my will.
That isn’t something I can forgive so easily.
He’s the very darkness I never wanted to get lost in. But no matter how charming or magnetic he is, I can’t forgetwhohe is or what he’s capable of.
In an attempt to brush it all away, I strip out of the dress and pull on something comfortable, relieved to be free of the strings attached to it.
Eventually, I crawl under the covers of the bed and try to shove the thoughts away. Even so, his touch lingers on my skin. His voice seems to take over my internal one, whispering his praises and need. I can taste him and see the hunger in his gaze.
Closing my eyes, I try to forget about the possessive heat in his kiss and the way his hands felt more like a brand against my curves.
I hate him for making me feel all of this, and even worse, I hate how easily I nearly fell apart for him.
Chapter 13 - Sergey
When Kat pulled away from me and disappeared down the hall, I didn’t chase her. I didn’t lose my mind with rage for being denied, and I didn’t do everything in my power to change her mind, even if the urge presented itself.
Instead, I stood in the middle of the living room after the fact, breathless regardless of how much time had passed. I felt like a wreck from the taste of her mouth and the way her body had fit so perfectly against mine.
She made me feel more than any woman had in a long time, and aside from the whiskey, I didn’t need anything else to get me there.
She was all it took to make me feel insane.
It’s maddening and intoxicating, and I can’t even complain that she stopped things before they went too far.
