This is crazy, how I feel about him. And late at night is the worst. My body yearns for him in the wee hours of the night. I miss how it feels to be caught up in his muscular arms, my head on his chest. God, is there anything more to this than just my being horny? Don’t I want him for reasons other than sex?
The minute that question comes up, the pro and con list runs through my mind. The way he pulls out my chair and opens my door. The passion burning behind his eyes whenever I’ve managed to divert his attention from something he’s focused on. The way he touches the small of my back when I pass him by…
And that chess game. I liked learning about the game. Better than that, I liked how he was teaching me about it. The way the pieces moved, the importance of a move every time I went to touch a piece. I smile in the darkness when I think about how he thought I was hustling him. I wasn’t. He just made learning the game easy. He seems to make everything easy when he wants to.
I like him. I truly do. Maybe a little more than like, actually. He’s endeared himself to me in a way that I’ve never experienced. Noteven with Andrei. It was a whole semester before we even held hands.
I wrap my arms around my belly as I think that through a little more. As much trouble as I’ve caused him about this whole phone thing, he’s still determined to keep me safe. He’s gone out of his way for it, in fact. And despite it all, I have to admit, I enjoy the feeling of being protected by him.
He said he would burn down the city to protect me… and God help me, I do believe he meant that. No one has ever had that kind of commitment to me before. Not even my father.
Ugh, what a terrible thought.Not even my father?Is that where I am right now?
I guess it is. My father thinks I killed his wife just by existing.
I don’t want to leave. That’s the long and short of this, I guess. I don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow or the day after that. I don’t now if I’m going to be here for another week or for the next six months. All I know is that right now, I don’t want to go. I want to stay with Anton.
There’s a knock at the door. I glance at the clock on my nightstand. It’s nearly midnight. I sit up and say, “Yes?”
“May I come in?” Anton asks.
I get out of bed and unlock the door. It opens and he steps in. His eyes move down to the nightshirt I’m wearing, then darts back up to my face.
“I’m sorry if I woke you,” he says. “I need to let you know of some developments.”
“Okay.”
“Things have changed. The men that I thought were responsible for Maksim’s death may be innocent. I’m currently investigating the matter.”
I nod. Interesting.
“In light of that, tomorrow morning, I’ll be telling my men to pause our activities. In the meantime…” He looks away from me, straightening up and stuffing his hands in his pockets. “In the meantime, you’re free to go after the meeting adjourns.”
He’s not looking at me. He’s looking over my head, around the room. Why isn’t he looking at me?
“Just like that?” I say. “What about my being a witness to what happened and all that? I mean, you said that you’re still investigating.”
“I’m investigating the matter of Maksim’s death. As for you… I don’t believe the Amur know anything about you or what you witnessed.”
“What if you’re wrong? I mean, someone could still try and hurt me.”
Now, he meets my eyes. “No one will touch you. I’ll make sure of that regardless of where you are.”
My heart leaps and sinks all at once. He’s asking me to leave. It’s clearly the right thing to do. Why don’t I think he really wants me to go?
“What if I don’t want to go?”
He takes a breath and says, “It’s not a good idea, Natalya. There are pieces moving that even I didn’t see and it almost got you killed despite every effort I made to keep you safe. The way Katcame in here while I was gone…” He looks away again, down at his hands. “I’m sorry for blowing up at you yesterday and all the times before. I treated you like you were my prisoner when you have never been that. I should have been kinder to you.”
I’m speechless. I didn’t think Anton was the kind of guy who apologized for anything. I honestly don’t know how to take this or whether or not I should object.
“The meeting is early,” he says. “Eight a.m. I don’t expect it to go on very long, so when it’s over, I’ll come get you and escort you to wherever you’d like to be.”
It occurs to me to tell him about the baby. I don’t know why it’s suddenly popped into my mind. I still feel the same way I have since the beginning. This baby is mine and it’s on me to protect it.
My hand automatically travels to my stomach and my lips seal shut. If I stay, I’ll have to tell him. What will happen then? If I go, then he never has to know.
He steps away from me and says, “Sleep well, and I’ll speak with you in the morning.”
