“Do youwantto stay with him?”
I sigh as I turn the question around in my mind. Finally, I just say, “I don’t know how to answer that.”
“Well… Why don’t you pro and con it?”
I think about that. Whenever I couldn’t make a decision in the past, I’d write a list with one side stating the pros and the other side the cons. I don’t have any pen and paper handy, but maybe we can talk this out.
“Okay, so, what are the pros?” I smile as the very first thought pops into my mind. His hands on my ass. “He’s incredible in bed.”
“That and a pack of gum will give you fresh breath. What else?”
I sigh and think. My mind goes to the chess game this morning. The excitement of learning something new felt good. It was like a part of my brain was stretching its legs. “He taught me to play chess,” I say. “He opens doors and pulls out chairs for me. He talks to me like a person?—”
“Oof. The bar is low, Nat.”
“Okay, stop. Those are great qualities to have in a relationship. I feel like… well, I feel like he respects me. Like I’m on his team instead of walking behind him, you know?”
“All right. That’s fair. What about cons?”
“Well,” I say with a heavy sigh, “He is one of them, you know. Part of the Brotherhood. He’s Bratva, and they aren’t exactlyknown for being soft, caring types. He’s got a hell of a temper when he’s angry. You should have seen how he manhandled Katerina.”
“To be fair, he did recognize that she tried to hurt you. That anger sounds well-placed. Imagine what he’d do if one of his rivals tried that on you.”
I bite my lip thoughtfully. I have no doubt that he’d probably kill them where they stood.
“Yeah,” I say. “He’s pretty protective. When he’s here. Not sure if that belongs in the pro or con section…” I take a second to think about it. “Everything he’s done for me, he’s done in the name of protecting me and making sure I’m comfortable. He even had one of his people get clothes for me.”
“So, he’s decent. That’s a good quality to have. Also sounds like another pro.”
I shrug. “So decent that he was once engaged to a certified psycho? It makes me wonder what I’m missing. What more don’t I know about him?”
She sighs. “Well, practically speaking, if there wasn’t someone actively trying to kill you, I’d say come back to the apartment to put some distance between you so you can figure things out. Being that you’re probably way safer in the fortress of a Bratva Pakhan, it’s probably best if you figure things out there for the time being.”
“Maybe,” I say in a small voice. “No one but my dad knows where I am except you, though. And he’s already been to your place. I could be just as safe with you. Besides, all my stuff is still there.”
“Yeah. So, what do you want to do? I’ll support whatever decision you make.”
I think it over for a minute. Do I stay or go? Is being with Anton worth all this insanity? I guess that’s the real question.
A loud knock interrupts my thoughts. From behind the door, I hear Anton say, “Natalya. Let me in, please. Let’s talk.”
22
ANTON
Ican hear her talking through the door. She’s found a way to make a phone call, I think. I know she hasn’t gotten to her phone…
Shit. I do have a landline in most of these guest rooms. Dammit, I should have thought to have them taken out before setting her up here.
I knock again. “Natalya. I can hear you talking in there. Open up.” I don’t know what I’m going to have to do to get through to her. The only thing worse than a cellphone is a landline. She’s going to lead anyone who’s looking for her right to my door.
The low rumble of her voice stops and the door opens a second later. She looks up at me with her big, blue eyes, melting the ice around my heart yet again.
I focus. I can’t cave around her. Rules are rules. I spot the phone in the corner and walk over to it, unplugging it.
“Hey,” she said. “Where are you taking that?”
“Out of your reach,” I say. I go to leave and she steps in front of me. “Natalya, move.”
