If I had to guess, she was warring with the decision of having to turn me in
That wasn’t happening.
Instead, I suggested that we fly to another location and lose these Cartel thugs after us. I hadn’t given her a location, but I had it all set up. “You’ll see.”
We boarded and flew to the Caymans, the most neutral grounds I could think of in this sphere of the world.
Surprise showed on her face, but she didn’t protest or ask for details when we landed. More than anything, she had to be curious how I’d gotten around her not having an ID or apassport. I hadn’t missed her raising her brows when I slipped the pilot money for this favor of transportation.
The minutes ticked down until I’d need to leave. It was coming. It was inevitable. But I loathed that I had to give up the one person who’d… fit. Who’d seen me, truly seen me, not as a monster or only as a killer, but a man plagued with too much evil marring his soul.
Kissing her felt wrong now. In the room at the resort I’d had Simon make a reservation for, I led her toward the bed and distracted her with the idea of christening this new place too. As if this were a vacation and we were an ordinary couple in love.
She was game, though, kissing me back and tugging at my clothes. “Tell me how I can be your good girl, Emil.”
Fuck.She wasn’t making this easy.
“Lie down and give me your hands, little agent,” I whispered into her ear. Closing my eyes tightly, I tried to savor the trust she gave me, the small slice of her heart I wanted to keep forever.
She did as I told her, leaning back on the plush bed. This room was an upgrade from the safehouses we’d broken into in Mexico. At least like this, she’d be comfortable while she resumed her life. She could pick up the pieces without worrying about a lack of running water or the jungle impeding her way.
Using the silky decorative throw, I bunched it up until it resembled a rope. Then as I tied her hands to the bedframe, I denied the cracks forming in my heart. The ache setting in that I had to walk away.
As soon as she was secure, I stepped back and sighed. One last look of her would have to last me a long time, but like this, sheresembled more of the furious captive I’d kidnapped, not the lover I’d coaxed to meet me in the middle.
“Emil?” She tugged on her hands. Something in my expression must have clued her in to the fact that this wasn’t going as she wanted it to. Too much space yawned between us as I stood back, hands in my pockets, heart breaking slowly.
I couldn’t love her.
I just couldn’t.
It wasn’t supposed to work like this.
I swallowed hard as she narrowed her eyes. She was a smart one, quick to read the room. “Emil.”
I shook my head slowly. “I need to go.”
Gaping at me for a full minute, she was frozen in shock. “Emil Dubinin. Don’t you dare. Don’t you fucking dare…” She thrashed her arms, trying to yank free.
“I brought you to neutral ground where you’ll be safe.”
“Emil!”
I stepped back once more. “I’ve had enough.”
“Enough?” She growled. “That’s it? You decide you’ve had enough of me and that’s it?”
I nodded.
It can’t be love.
It’s not.
“I’ve had enough fun entertaining you. And myself.” I added a shrug to look indifferent about walking away. “I can’t kill you. I mean, I don’t want to kill you?—”
“Fuck you,” she snarled, still fighting to get free.
“But I can’t keep you, either.”
