I stared at him, now even more incredulous.
More than that, I was confused.
His bizarre little speech raised about a million more questions than it answered, and even more questions the longer I thought about it.
His voice sharpened. “You’re so interested in my living quarters… why do you think he houses me here, anyway? You think I couldn’t have lived in the dorms, had he allowed it? You think it was theschoolthat mandated I sleep up here?”
I watched him warily now.
Was he saying he was some kind of prisoner? Even here, at Malcroix?
A lot of different things were coming together in my mind though, as I watched him glare at me. The fact that I never saw him off campus, in Bonescastle. The fact that he could only ever go out in London on certain nights, and Alaric told me he often had to leave in the middle of one of their outings due to his father calling him home.
Staring at Bones’s bare upper body, I grew conscious of something else.
I’d never really seen him shirtless in full sunlight before. Now I couldn’t help but stare at the number of scars that decorated his skin, scars I’d forgotten to look at or think about while he’d been lying next to me in his bed.
I couldn’t look away from them now. My eyes kept getting drawn to a denser configuration on his chest, the ones that looked like symbols, not just random marks, just below where I’d seen those gold hieroglyphs glow while he operated his magic.
What the fuck had his father done to him?
Most of those scars looked old. Really old. Like he’d gotten them young.
He didn’t seem to notice my stare, or even my silence.
“…It was live here, or be watched every second of every fucking day,” he was growling now, gesturing angrily with a hand and arm. “Being in here affords me at least theillusionof privacy. Even if it’s only when I’m alone. I neededsomethingthat was mine, and this was the best I could fucking do. My father doesn’t exactly makedealswith me, Shadow. As it is, I have to be really damned careful how many protection spells I cast… and how I block and remove whatever he tries to leave behind whenever heblessesme with one of his visits.”
I fought to follow his words.
I got the gist of some of it, but there were still too many gaps.
Unlike what was usual with him, however, I had my doubts those gaps and missing pieces were intentional this time. I more got the impression he was trying to tell me too many things at once, and he couldn’t quite track where he was beginning and what he was leaving out. I wasn’t even sure how to redirect him with a question.
“Maybe you should just fuckinglistento me, then,” he growled, obviously hearing me. “I’m trying to explain it, Shadow. You wanted me to talk, so I’m fucking talking––”
“I know you are.” I kept my voice calm, even as I realized he was right. “I appreciate you talking to me, but you might need to start more from the beginning.” I took a breath. “What is it your father is forcing you to do? Why would he care where you sleep at night? And what does that have to do with who you happen to be shagging? Are you saying he’s somehow––”
“I’m. Not. Shagging. Them.” He enunciated each word viciously. “Gods. How much clearer do I need to be? I snog them, sure. Publicly, where I can, at least when it’s not too obvious, so at least some of it gets back to my father. I bring a handful of them back here for the same reason. I fool around with the ones I can in the ways that I can. Then I generally knock them out, implant memories, and let them sleep it off. The next day, they think we’ve fucked, but we haven’t. Understand?”
I stared at him, feeling the blood drain out of my face. “No.”
“That wasn’t clear? Really?”
“It’s clear. It’s also completely mental. You can’t possibly be serious––”
“I’m absolutely serious. Why? You’re appalled? You’re judging me forthisnow?” he asked. “I’m notrapingthem, Shadow. I’m doing the exact opposite.”
“But why?” I stared at him, feeling a kind of horror crawl over me as his words continued to sink in. “You’ve deliberately crafted a false reputation for yourself, just so your father won’t think you’re in a relationship with someone? Why in the gods would you do that?”
He didn’t answer, but I saw his jaw tick as he stared at me.
After a long-feeling pause, he averted his gaze.
“He knows about some of my magical problems, but not all of them,” he said, his voice lower, but also harsher, his expressionmore closed. “If he had any idea how little control I actually have over certain aspects of my magic…” He glanced at me, his eyes glowing faintly. “Well, let’s just say, it wouldn’t only be Alec who got dragged out of university.”
I think my jaw had unhinged completely by then.
I gaped at him, still fighting to read between the lines of what he’d said, but more than that, what he hadn’t. Something about that seemed to anger him, too.
