It reached my fogged mind that I felt more than regularly intoxicated, or even heavily intoxicated in the way I had a few times while out with Alaric on one of his drinking andmagical-substances-that-are-definitely-not-alcoholrampages.
I’d never once felt unsafe with Alaric, despite how obsessive he could be about his own inebriation, and even mine. He’d never once put me off when I wanted to go home, when I was hungry, thirsty, tired, annoyed with a situation, nervous, bored, or anything else.
Moreover, my mind had felt relatively clearer at those times, despite my having drunk and sometimes imbibed other things in much larger amounts.
The feeling that swam over me now suddenly struck me as disturbingly familiar. As soon as it did, panic made it difficult to breathe.
I’d felt like this before. Exactly like this.
The costume party. Last year.
This exact same feeling had hit me then.
All of that twisted through my mind and awareness far too slowly.
By the time the pieces had fully come together, Graham was leading me into an isolated corridor of Forsooth’s make-believe castle. I blinked in confusion at the row of black stone statues, each of them larger than an actual person and dressed in flowing, marble robes. Their polished, mirror-like surfaces reflected firelight from a low, wide grate at the end of the hallway, but between the statues were alcoves with windows and padded seats where one could look out over Forsooth’s make-believe world.
I fought to make sense of where we might be in the real world, but my mind couldn’t wrap around the intricacies of how the construct worked.
Werewe anyplace in the real world? Or were we in some pocket dimension that existed all on its own, neither in Magique nor Overworld?
My mind couldn’t hold onto the thought long enough to make sense of it, or make sense of why it felt so urgent that I understand the mechanics of this now. I wanted to know where I was. I didn’t feel safe, and I wanted to know what was really around me.
Would anyone notice if something was wrong?
Would Forsooth feel it, inside his own creation?
Graham pulled me into the furthest alcove, and that feeling of being unsafe worsened. He sat on a red-cushioned stone seat, and pulled me onto his lap. I wasn’t so far gone that I didn’t feel his erection pushing hard against my arse as soon as he yanked me down against him.
When he tried to bring his hand up the bodice of my dress, I gripped his fingers and twisted, pulling them off me unambiguously. I tried to get up, but his thick arm held me in place. I only managed to get an inch or so of distance from him before he brought me back down.
“When I said you could come with us as afriend,with myotherfriends,” I said coldly, my slurring voice making it difficult to convey my anger. “I actuallydidmean it. I have no interest in this, Graham. None. I don’t see you this way.” I tried to shove his hand away when he reached for me again. I writhed to try and get out of his lap. “Stop it. Right now––”
“Don’t be like that.” He gripped my hips, pulling me back. “You knew I liked you. Don’t pretend you didn’t. And don’t get all prissy now, just to play coy.”
Prissy?Play coy?
Fury swirled through my dipping mind. I fought to get up again.
“Release me,” I demanded. “Now.”
He rolled his eyes. “I’ll get you food after, all right? For fuck’s sake. I doubt you protested this much when it was that rich fuck, Greythorne, giving it to you. Don’t you want another protector, now he’s gone? Better me than another of those royals pricks––”
Confusion, then a twisted, speechless fury made it difficult to see.
He thought I was sleeping with Alaric for protection?
In a sick way it even made sense. I wondered how many others thought I’d chosen to “date” Alaric so I could stay safe from the royals goons who harassed me most of last year. Norrick Voltaire and the rest had been relentless, especially before Yule. I got cornered and threatened a few times right up to the end of summer term, but itdidget significantly better during the second half of my year.
Was Alaric the reason why? Is that whatallthese assholes thought? Is that why they’d left me alone for as long as they had?
I fought harder to get out of Graham’s lap, and his hands lost their pretense of gentleness, gripping me tight enough to bruise until he had me firmly on his thighs.
I spoke incantations, tried to access my magic, but I couldn’t concentrate enough to direct it. A torch bracket exploded in the hallway outside. I heard a stone statue wobble, then fall down. But I couldn’t seem to aim anything at Graham himself.
I realized he was shielded then, and I wasn’t getting past his shields.
I fought to remember a spell for yanking down anti-spell defenses.
