Even as I asked the question, I knew that wasn’t all of it, though.
Those things weren’texcusesexactly, but they avoided some harder truths. Every time my mind toyed with the idea of confiding in my friends, I hit into the exact same wall: there was no way to pull even one of those threads without the entire thing coming apart. That didn’t even get into the promises I’d already made, magical and otherwise.
I’d promised Caelum, and Alaric, and now Forsooth and the Golden Sun.
But promises weren’t the whole story, either.
The real problem was my friends.
I knew they’d want to help.
Jolie, Miranda, Draken, Luc, Darragh, likely Nyx and Dervish Walker, too, would definitely want in, if they knew I was hunting down and listening to broadcasts by the infamous “Priest” of Dark Cathedral. They’d want to know everything. They’d want to see and read and listen to everything I’d put in that journal I’d handed Forsooth. They’d want to hear about all the research I’d done, along with everything Alaric told me about his father, the feverish, drunken rantings he’d been subject to, the secret meetings and rituals he’d been half-aware of since he was a child. They’d want to know it all, and they’d want to go after Dark Cathedral with me.
I knew that about them.
I evenwantedthat from them. I hadn’t been lying when I told the Golden Sun that I’d really thought, someday, I would tell them everything, and ask for their help. I’d want them to join me in finding some way to fight back.
I also knew there was a good chance I’d get them killed if I did.
What happened to Alaric only paralyzed me even more on that front.
Jolie exhaled, arranging one of her braids around her face. “You know she’s had a tough year. Miranda. You know that, right? I know she doesn’t talk about it much. Well, not at all, really, but it’s been really hard on her.”
I bit my lip. Had I known that? I tensed as I looked at Jolie, realizing I had no idea what she meant. Had I really been so wrapped up in my own world, I’d missed something major going on with one of my best friends?
Now that I thought about it, though, Ihadnoticed things.
People had been strange to her this year, compared to last year.
Witches who’d been friendly to Miranda last year now gave her the cold shoulder. The difference struck me as even more dramatic with mages. A lot of the same blokes who’d followed her around the previous year, asked her out, and admired her openly, now glared and went out of their way to avoid her. Not Luc, of course, who I was pretty sure was still in love with her, but others in our year, for sure.
She’d been asked out constantly in first year. This year, I hadn’t seen it happen once. She was treated as nearly as much of a pariah as me.
What had changed?
“Why has she had a bad year, Jolie?” I asked.
The tall witch blinked at me. “You’re not serious,” she said, disbelieving. “Leda, it’s been all over school. It started with that bloody Marcus Ribaldi, after that horrible double date the two of you went on last year. He asked her to spend Beltaine with him after. Maybe he meant it as a peace offering, I don’t know… but when she refused, he kind of lost it.”
“Marcus?” I paled. “Did he do something to her?”
Jolie continued to stare, like she couldn’t believe me. “Eye of Horus, you really don’t know.” Shaking her head, she stared out my bedroom window. “I knew you were pretty wrapped up in school, but I didn’t think it was possible to bethisoblivious to gossip.”
I felt my face warm, but only waited as she fingered another braid out of her face.
“Leda.” She met my gaze. “Marcus told everyone that Mir was born a mage. Male, I mean. A wizard. He told everyone, and I meaneveryone,about how she’d changed her sex, magically, sometime in middle school, and has been a witch ever since.”
I blinked at her. “Why in the gods would he say that?”
Jolie grunted. “Because it’s true?” she said. “Because he’s a petty little tosser who couldn’t handle being rejected?” Exhaling, she shook her head. “I didn’t know until early this year, but that’s why Mir went to boarding school in Switzerland. Her parents didn’t want her to have to deal with people treating her differently because of it.”
I blinked at Jolie in shock. Whatever I’d expected her to say about Miranda having a difficult year, it wasn’t that. Mostly, though, I was bewildered.
“People actuallycareabout that? Here? In Magique?” Frowning, I fought to make sense of it. “Why?” I asked. “One would think, with magic––”
“That people wouldn’t be such bloody hypocrites?” Jolie scoffed. “You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Half the witches and mages in school change their appearance every other week. Not to mention every Magical of means in the rest of the world, most of whom have monthly appointments to alter their appearance, both in legal and illegal ways.”
Her voice grew increasingly angry.
