“Is everything else okay, Andreas?”
He looks at me, surprised.
“What do you mean? Of course, everything’s okay. Why wouldn’t it be?”
I hear his words, but the slight tension in his expression tells me a different story.
“Last night was amazing, but I got the impression that you were really tense when you came over,” I say, holding him close and meeting his gaze. “You needed me more than before, it felt like you were almost angry.” My voice is soft.
He rests his forehead against mine and gently rubs my lower back.
“Nothing escapes you, does it, Nora?”
“I’m afraid not. Do you want to tell me what’s wrong?”
“I was up late with Eric dealing with those stupid vandals, and then I stayed up too long afterward and couldn’t sleep. I was wound up and frustrated.”
I feel him tense up again at the memory.
“And then you thought: I’ll just fuck Nora and get the frustration out?” I tease. My words blunter than usual.
I meant it innocently, but Andreas is anything but amused. He takes a step back and looks at me sharply.
“I didn’t just use you, Nora. I wanted… I…”
He struggles to find the words, and I know exactly why. If we’re not a couple, if he doesn’t have feelings for me, then technically all he’s doing is “using me.” Not that I mind, or don’t want it, but it is what it is.
“Andreas, I get it, I didn’t mean it as an attack. I agreed to our ‘arrangement’ without a label.” I use my fingers to make air quotes. “I think that means you’re allowed to shamelessly use me.”
I force a seductive look and try to salvage the situation, but I can see Andreas isn’t pleased with what I’m saying. I’m not either, but it’s the reality.
“I don’t want to just use you, but I don’t deserve you either, Nora.”
“You keep saying that, but I don’t understand why.”
“That’s probably for the best.” He kisses me briefly before I can say anything. “I’ll see you this week before I leave. If anything comes up, call or text me, okay?”
“Okay, see you soon.”
I already feel lonely.
* * *
The next few days, I miss Andreas more than I’d like to admit, but there’s nothing I can do about it. I try to keep busy, focusing on work to distract myself. I just closed another sale on a villa, and I’m thrilled. This one might not be on Andreas’s level, but it’s still a big deal. Smiling, I’m reviewing the offer on my computer when Ella bounces into my office with my salad.
“So cheerful today, Nora? Sold another house?”
“Yep! I just read that the offer was accepted, so I can start drafting the paperwork again. I’m super happy!”
“Wow, this is going to be a good month for you, I think.”
“I certainly can’t complain,” I grin from ear to ear.
“I was hoping we could eat lunch together? It’s already two, so my lunch shift is over. I need to eat something too, or are you too busy now?”
Once again, I got so caught up in my work that I forgot what time it was and only ordered my salad at the last minute.
“Sure! There’s always work, but I can’t forget to eat either! I’m starving, and your company is always nice, Ella!”
