“Nora, how are you? I’m calling about tonight.”
“Good, everything’s fine here. I was about to call you too.”
“I can’t make it tonight. I’ve been having occasional pains in my pelvis and lower abdomen all day. The doctor says it’s probably just ligament pain and completely normal, but to be safe, I need to take it easy now. Even if I wanted to go out, Melvin says I’m not allowed to move a muscle this weekend.”
“No, of course not, don’t take any risks. I can’t make it tonight either, which is why I was going to call you, so problem solved. I’ll let Dennis know too.”
This went easier than expected.
“Okay, that’s good. Since we’re not seeing each other tonight, I want to hear all about your dinner on Wednesday. Don’t think I’d forget about that!”
Or maybe not.
I curse internally. After two days of grief and self-pity, Anna’s enthusiastic words are too much to face. Tears well up in my eyes. I want to speak, but my lower lip starts to tremble. I try to stifle the oncoming wave of tears, but to no avail.
“Oh, Nora, what happened? You have to tell me, is it Andreas? Did he hurt you?”
“Yes, I mean no. Yes, actually, yes.” It’s all so terribly confusing.
“That jerk! What did he do? Tell me!”
“Okay, in short: he arranged it so that the dinner was just for the two of us. I wasn’t into it at first, but it was also flattering that he showed so much interest in me. Our conversations were engaging and intense. He definitely has issues, but it was actually really nice. The attraction between us was overwhelming. He didn’t beat around the bush, and he was so ridiculously attractive. I’m not used to that, Anna, the attention, the open flirting. He drove me completely crazy. And then I spilled something on my blouse, and he suggested we go to his place a few streets away to wash it out. I thought about your advice, and I knew that if I went with him, it would mean… well, you know. But I wanted that too. I had made my choice. And then we had the most incredible sex ever and…”
“Wait, what? You actually had sex with Andreas?” Anna interrupts me. She’s almost shouting.
“Yes, isn’t that exactly what you suggested?” I don’t want to sound accusatory, but it needs to be said.
“Yes, I did suggest that, but I didn’t expect it to happen so quickly, if it ever happened at all.”
“Well, it happened, and it was pretty amazing.”
I wistfully recall the moment I felt so blissed in his bed and in his arms. I’ve never felt so safe and fulfilled, like the world could explode around me, and I’d be just fine. I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
“If it was so good, then what’s the problem?” Anna asks softly, afraid of the answer that will inevitably cast a shadow over the whole story.
“I fell asleep in his arms, and I haven’t seen or heard from him since. He used me, Anna. I feel so empty, so naive, so angry, so… everything.”
“Oh, no, that’s awful! Not even a message?” Anna asks, shocked.
“Nothing, Anna, he left for Brussels for two days, and I haven’t heard from him. He’s alive, that’s all I know, because he was on the phone with his architect this morning.”
“I’m going to say something, and you’ll probably be mad, but I’m going to say it anyway, okay?”
“Uh, okay.”
“I think you were hoping for more than just a one-night stand. If you didn’t feel anything for Andreas, you wouldn’t be so down right now. One-night stands are like that. They’re gone the next day and you both move on with your lives.” I say nothing because I know she’s right. “Nora, I’m sorry. It was wrong of me to think that something like that could just happen, you know, turning off your brain and heart, enjoying the moment, and then it’s over. I don’t think we’re built that way. I should have known better when I gave you that advice. I’m really sorry.”
“Me too, I should have known better.”
I can’t blame her.
“Is that why you wanted to cancel tonight?”
“Yes, I really don’t feel like going out tonight, I’ll just stay here and go to bed early.” Solid plan.
“Is it a good idea to be alone right now?”
“I’ll manage,” I say, as I start sobbing again.
