And yet currently, she was a drooling mute—an intelligent woman rendered a zombie-type by the Lure, and he just knew Locke was mulling over a dilemma. Make her his without being able to ask her if it was okay, or not?
He couldn’t help Locke much. It was too personal a decision.
Cyn had stirred up feelings in him too. Kinda sorta love feelings, and all that had happened in very few days. He scowled. Way too premature, and he’d been like a schoolboy with a first crush.
Besides, it wasn’t love on her side.
“Well?” Rutger nudged up an eyebrow. “Are you going to talk about it or not?”
“And if I say not?”
“Ummm.”
“She said it again. That she’d fuckin’ shoot me.”
“I heard.”
“You just don’t shoot your lovers. It’s unethical.”
“I know. Immoral, illegal, lots of naughty things.”
“Shut up, Rutger.” He spotted a grin on the beaster.Shit.
“Can I just ask, what did you actually see that day? Because I have not heard all the evidence.”
He wouldn’t have. Willow, Mads, and the other judge had done the interviews in private.
“What did I see? I saw her leap and jump off a beaster or two and then in mid-air she gunned down Tom. The aim was straight through his head as if he was not there. It went on to hit the Ghoul Lord’s head. Her next shot went through my arm.”
“Tragic, undeniably so. I liked Tom. We all did. You healed okay?” He glanced at Vargr’s shoulder.
“I did. I’m not like you or her, but I healed okay. Yes.” Faster than a human would. He screwed his mouth up at the corner. “I do not understand why she did it that way when she could’ve waited and missed us.”
“Maybe she couldn’t have? Maybe it was the only way? Have you thought of that? If you had one chance to take out a Ghoul Lord, would you do it no matter what?”
He would’ve waited. Pretty sure. He tried to rewind to that moment. “Hypothetical… I think, I think really what bugs the crap outta me is that she had this blank look on her face, as if I was nothing.”
Rutger walked alongside for a while, quiet and clearly thinking. “Maybe you’re right. I know she does now regret what she did to you. But also maybe it’s part and parcel of whatever her nanomachines are doing to her. And you know that’s us too. We don’t control all of this.”
He sniffed loudly, tapping his hands on the butts of the two handguns he now wore, having found a match for the other. Bessie and Clank, he’d decided to call them for no particular reason. And he really should ask Kiko for an augmented gun… like the one he’d once bought Cyn.
“Maybe. I’m not sure that is enough for me.”
“Okay. Promise me you’ll try to discuss this with her, soon?” Then he waited until Vargr nodded. Rutger smacked his shoulder. “Just remember big dildo and ass fucking. You’ll be missing out.”
“Thanks. Not.” He gave him side-eye. “You chose a good time for that. I looked through the bridge windows and figured out why this is called the Adult Quarter, figured out they were rather… circumspect in their name choice. There are sex shop ads galore hanging off the edge.”
“Fuck. No,” Rutger said in awe. “Nooo? Really?”
“Yeah. This should’ve been the Porn Quarter.”
Locke wandered closer while Rutger was still digesting that. He had Maura in tow with a waist rope. One thing he’d noted at Worshipper Quarter was the lack of obvious humans. Not that they were common anywhere except up Top. According to Cyn’s recent observations, there might be still millions left alive. Might.
If only they could figure out a way to free them, but to do that, the Ghoul Lords would have to be gone. Which, he reminded himself, was why they were doing this trip. Not just to feed Cyn’s ego, or discover her past, no, it was to find a weapon they could adapt, create, grow. Whatever. Anything. Find something to help his sister.
Who is likely dead.
He felt the sting of almost-tears. After so long… still couldn’t help it.
