“You don’t think I’m worth taking somewhere fancy?” She was smiling but it concealed an edge to her question.
“I think you’re worth taking to the fanciest place in New York City. But I’m not sure you’d like it as much as you’d like something a bit more relaxed. Less pretentious.”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “I can do fancy,” she said simply.
A very nervous waiter came over and went through the menu with us. I watched her as she smiled and nodded at him, trying to put him at ease. It was a kind thing to do, and when he left he looked like he was a little bit in love with her.
“What are you going to order?” I asked.
She was looking over my shoulder, not at the menu. She shrugged. “I’ll have whatever you have.”
“You will?”
She nodded. “I hate menus. I hate the deciding, so I prefer not to look.”
“So now I have to order something I think you’ll like. Like a test.”
“God no, that’s awful—what kind of women do you normally date? Just order what you want. It’ll be fine.”
“But if you don’t like it?”
“Then I won’t eat it, but I’m sure it’ll be fine. It’s not a test, honestly.”
I ordered. Sea bass. I wouldn’t normally order fish, but women liked fish, didn’t they?
“I don’t date,” I said when the smitten waiter had taken our order. Or my order for both of us.
“What?”
“You asked me a question about the kind of women I normally date.”
“Oh, yes. You don’t date?”
I shook my head.
“Oh, right. I can see there’s something of a monk about you.”
I laughed. “I didn’t say I was a monk. I said I didn’t date.”
“I’m not following you. You don’t like to call it dating?”
“Call what dating?”
“Dinner, drinks, back to your hotel. Do you live there?”
“No, I don’t live there. I just … book that suite sometimes.”
“Somewhere to stay with your non-dates?”
“I don’t stay there.” Why was I telling her this stuff?
“You’retalking in riddles.”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t do the dinner, drinks, dating thing usually … or ever. I book the suite, I fuck in the suite, but I don’t stay over.”
She looked at me but didn’t say anything.
I waited and she still didn’t say anything. Fucking hell. I knew I was going to fuck this up. This restaurant. Telling her about my relationships, or lack of them. What was I thinking? I should never have run into her at lunch. This was a disaster.
