“She said she didn’t want to marry you? Are you sure?” Mandy asked, her face twisted in confusion.
I shrugged and took another slug of whiskey.
“What exactly did she say?”
“I can’t really remember, it’s all such a blur—we were talking about her moving to New York and I could tell she was a bit anxious about it. She was talking really fast and her barely there filter had disappeared completely. And she asked whether her moving was the right thing and she was answering her own question and said that at least she had a job and it wasn’t as if we were getting married—and then this bit I remember clearly—she said ‘god forbid.’ Yes, she said, ‘It’s not like we’re getting married—god forbid.’ And then she was talking about something else.
I looked up from my glass and Mandy was looking straight back at me with a scowl on her face. “Had you talked about getting married before? Kids, a dog? Had you ever heard anything like this from her before?”
I took a deep breath in and exhaled slowly as I thought about her question. “No. We were all about living in the here and now. She didn’t want to talk about the future in London. And then we agreed to try the long-distance thing and suddenly the future’s here and I have no fucking clue what’s going on. I guess I just assumed that if she was prepared to move to New York for me, she would be prepared to marry me for fuck’s sake.”
“More whiskey.” Andrew nodded at Mandy and she hurriedly poured out another glassful.
“It doesn’t sound like she doesn’t want to marry you,” Mandy said.
“She said ‘god forbid’, Mandy. Unless I’ve lost the ability to speak English, that’s not an exact translation of ‘Ethan, I’m desperate to be your wife and carry your children.’”
“What I meant was, I don’t think it’s personal.”
The whiskey was having the desired effect and it took my brain a few seconds longer than it should to process her words. “I’m not sure it matters,” I said finally.
“Maybe she just doesn’t believe in marriage?” Andrew said.
“That’s bullshit.” I tipped back my third generous glass of whiskey.
Anna
I hadn’t gotten much sleep on the plane, but I had managed to make it home to shower and change before going in to the office. I’d texted Ethan to say I’d landed, not wanting to wake him. When I next spoke to him, I wanted to be able to tell him that I’d had a conversation about my leaving date, which meant I had until about eleven to follow up with the partners.
Just as I sat down at my desk, my phone buzzed. “Happy New Year,” I said to Leah as I answered.
“Happy New Year to you, too. How was it? Did you go to a party?”
“No, thank goodness.” I went on to explain about the most perfect evening ever.
“He hired out the top of the Empire State Building for the two of you?” Leah asked.
“Yes, it was amazing. Cold but amazing. The lights from the city were spectacular and you could hear all the horns going off and the cheers. It was kinda special.”
“Wow, fantastic. It sounds like the kind of thing you see in a movie when the guy proposes.”
My stomach lurched. “He didn’t propose Leah, don’t be silly.”
“I’m serious. He didn’t propose? It sounds like the perfect setting.”
My mind started running through the evening of events, it had been the perfect evening and so romantic. But we’d never talked about marriage.
“There’s no way and I’m not interested in getting married. Ethan knows that.”
“You would have said no? Now you’re being silly.”
“Leah, I don’t have time to talk about this. He didn’t ask. I have to speak to Paul about my notice period, so I’ll catch you later.” Leah and I had arranged to have dinner tonight. I hung up and headed toward Paul’s office.
Would I have said no? Could I deny Ethan anything I had to give him?
I’d think about it later. I needed to focus on convincing Paul that I shouldn’t work my three-month notice.
“Happy New Year, Anna,” Paul said as I put my head round his office door.
