I stood up and grabbed her hand, pulling her to her feet. “Whoa, what are you doing?” she asked with a lopsided grin.
I kissed her mouth, hard, and then practically dragged her down the hallway to my bedroom.
Once inside, I didn’t bother to turn on the lights. I was too frantic for her. I made quick work of our clothes and soon had her naked on the bed underneath me. I looked down at her in the shadowed darkness and felt, for a moment, exactly what she had been talking about.
I felt myself coming together. I quickly put on a condom and buried myself deep inside her. There were times when I made love to Aubrey that I couldn’t get deep enough. No matter how much I touched her, it was never enough.
Aubrey arched her back, and I lifted her hips as I glided in and out of her body. I leaned over and kissed a trail from her belly button to her breasts. I loved her body. I loved the way she made me feel like I was the only person in the world. To Aubrey Duncan, I mattered.
“Oh, God, Maxx!” Aubrey moaned loudly. Her flushed skin was hot to the touch and drove me mad. I slammed into her over and over again until I felt the moment that I could finally let go.
And I did.
Afterward, as the sweat dried and I lazily kissed her fingers, I thought that just maybe, everything would be okay. I felt optimistic about finding a job and making money. That I’d be able to provide for the woman I loved. That we’d make a life together.
I ran my hand down her back, listening to her soft breaths, and felt such an intense love I thought I’d strangle on it.
“I love you, Maxx,” she murmured against my skin, placing soft kisses on my chest.
“We’ll be together forever, right?” I asked a little desperately, holding her tight against me. I needed her reassurance. Needed it more than air.
Aubrey propped her chin on my chest and looked up at me through thick lashes framing hooded eyes. Her smile was tired but content. “Forever, Maxx. We’ll be together forever,” she promised before lying back down.
I stared up at my ceiling for a while after that, lost in half-crazy thoughts.
My heart clenched painfully and the optimism I had been feeling dwindled away.
“When did you come and clean my apartment?” I asked her suddenly.
Aubrey rolled off me and onto her back, her hair fanning across the pillow. She rolled her head to the side and looked at me with a bemused expression. “When did I clean your apartment?”
I reached out to trace a line between her breasts, flattening my palm over her stomach. I thought about putting a life inside of her. Of branding her in a way that was life altering and permanent.
I had never thought about being a father before. But with Aubrey I thought about it a lot. Of getting married and buying a house. Filling it with children.
What sort of father would I be?
How would I ever be able to provide for a family when I couldn’t get more than a minimum-wage job?
“When I was in rehab you came by. You cleaned my apartment, didn’t you?” I wasn’t sure why I was pushing to know. Maybe I just needed a reminder that if Aubrey was willing to take the risk to be with me, then she loved me in spite of everything I had put her through. And I needed to take some risks of my own.
Aubrey stretched her hand out and ran her fingers up my side, making me squirm. “Yes, I came by. I was a wreck, Maxx. I had lost you. I had been suspended from the counseling program. It was a dark, dark time for me. But somehow I ended up here. And you know what?”
I grabbed ahold of her hand and pulled her close. “What?”
“I felt better just being here. I felt at peace. How crazy is it that after everything we put each other through, I would feel safest in your home?”
I ran my thumb along the curve of her jaw, her words hurting me, though I knew she hadn’t meant for them to.
“It’s crazy, all right.”
“Maxx.” I opened my apartment door two days later to find my landlord standing on the stoop.
“Mr. Reese. Hi,” I said, opening the door wider to let him comein.
“I don’t need to come inside. I’m here to give you this,” he said, handing me an envelope.
I didn’t need to open it to know what it was.
