My entire life up to that point was made up of moments like this.
And I felt completely and totally loved.
I waited for Maxx after his shift at the coffee shop. I had been sitting in the same booth for over an hour, pretending to look over my assigned reading when actually I was simply watching him work.
He looked tired. There were dark circles under his eyes. His smile was strained as he greeted customers. The bright blue of his eyes was dull and listless even though they still lit up when he looked at me.
I could see Maxx talking to the other girl on duty. She smiled a sickeningly sweet grin and flipped her hair. He picked up a plateful of chocolate fudge cookies and inclined his head toward me.
I quickly ducked behind my book but peeked out over the top. The girl’s expression soured, but she nodded.
“I see you,” Maxx said, dropping down into the booth across from me.
“Didn’t realize I was hiding,” I teased, though feeling embarrassed at having been caught staring like a psycho girlfriend. He slid the plate of cookies toward me, his exhausted face softening as he looked at me.
“What was it you said about chocolate?” he teased.
“That I’d do just about anything for it,” I responded, picking up a cookie and taking a bite.
“That’s what I’m counting on,” he said, his voice husky and rich.
I cleared my throat, feeling my face flush and my belly twist in that slightly painful way that meant I was completely turned on.
“So, I have a proposition for you,” I announced, putting the rest of the cookie back onto the plate.
Maxx reached across the table and took my hand, his thumb sliding back and forth over mine. “Well, thatwasthe point of the chocolate,” he said with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes but had to clear my throat again before continuing.
“I’m thinking about going home for the weekend. To see my parents,” I said quickly, needing to say it before I lost the nerve.
Maxx frowned and dropped my hand, sitting back in the booth. “Okay...”
“I haven’t been home in three years.” I glanced out the window and then back to Maxx. “I haven’t seen my parents in three years,” I went on.
“Wow. Okay. So why are you going now? Is everything all right?” he asked.
“Everything’s fine. My mom called and said she’d like me to come home. She has some things of Jayme’s she’d like me to have. I just think... that it’s time.”
Maxx nodded. “Well, if that’s what you need to do. Then absolutely you should go.”
“I’d like you to come with me,” I stated, not quite able to look at him. I hadn’t really thought about Maxx coming with me until that moment. But I realized that if I was going to do this, I wanted him with me.
Maxx blinked a few times, looking shocked. “You want me to come to North Carolina with you? To meet your parents?” he asked incredulously.
Shit.
This would be that “meet the parents” moment.
It was too much too soon.
He was going to balk and freak out and God knows what else.
The niggling doubts that always worried at the back of my mind when it came to Maxx roared to life.
He’s going to go get high. You’ve pushed him, and now he’ll need to turn to the pills. It’s all he knows. He will always disappoint you. How can you have a relationship when you don’t even trust him?
I became enraged at myself for letting that horrible voice in my head drown out everything else.
