“I know that you think you have to stay away from me because I hurt you. I know you’re trying to build a life without me. But I also know that the only life worth living is the one we can have together.”
He slowly reached across the table and took my hand between his palms and held it.
“I know what you look like when you love. And it’s right here. In your eyes. On your mouth. I look at you and know, without a doubt, that you feel the same way I do.” Maxx ran his thumb along my bottom lip, and I jerked back.
I felt my face flush and pulled my hand from his restraining grasp.
“I’ve got to go,” I muttered, getting to my feet.
“Will you come in tomorrow? I’m working. I can buy you a coffee. I know how much you need your caffeine in the morning,” Maxx said, sounding a little desperate.
I pulled my book bag up onto my shoulder. I wouldn’t look athim.
It would be too easy to give in. I should start avoiding this place. I should ignore him and leave before I did something stupid. So what do I do? I give him the answer that I know I shouldn’t. I found myself saying, “I come in every morning, Maxx. So I guess I’ll see you then.”
I’m not caving, I told myself.I’m just telling him the truth. I do come in for coffee every morning. It didn’t mean anything.
Maxx’s smile was as bright as if I had offered him the moon.
“Okay, well, I’ll see you then.”
It didn’t mean anything!I yelled to myself over and over again.
What a lie. With Maxx, it meanteverything.
chapter
eighteen
maxx
lately, talking to Aubrey felt a lot like banging my head against the wall. I was getting nowhere... fast. Didn’t she see how much I was attempting to change?
I tried not to get frustrated, because I saw in her eyes how much she still loved me. But being kept at arm’s length was maddening when the connection between us was still as intense as ever.
I hated working at the coffee shop. The pay sucked and the hours were even worse.
Working at the stables was a little better. Sure, shoveling shit for ten dollars an hour wasn’t the best use of my time, but I got to be outdoors and no one really bothered me. I put my feelings aside because working my ass off was for a greater purpose. These were all steps in proving myself.
“You’re a hard worker, Maxx. I have to say that I’m impressed,” Mr. Wyatt said, watching me as I cleaned out one of thestalls.
I had gone straight from my shift at the coffee shop to the stables. I didn’t have time to change, so I was still wearing the brown T-shirt from earlier. I would have had time to run home and put on different clothes if I hadn’t stayed to talk to Aubrey.
Well, I had stayed only to berejectedby Aubrey. Again.
It was becoming a sad, pathetic pattern. “Thanks,” I grunted, lifting a shovel full of hay and manure and dumping it in a wheelbarrow. Mr. Wyatt patted a pretty gray horse named Harvey and inclined his head toward me. “Have you ever ridden a horse?” he asked.
“Sure,” I lied. I had never been on a horse in my life.
“Well, if you ever want to ride one of our beauties, come on out. You’re always welcome,” he said with a final pat on Harvey’s neck. Mr. Wyatt was a gruff fellow but he seemed decent. I knew that the offer wasn’t made lightly.
“Thanks, Mr. Wyatt. Maybe I will,” I said, wiping sweat off my forehead, knowing I left a smear of dirt behind.
“These guys could use the exercise. You’d be helping me out,” Mr. Wyatt continued, seeming embarrassed by his kindness.
“Of course,” I agreed, not letting on to the fact that I knew the old guy actually liked me. Mr. Wyatt reached into his pocket and pulled out some cash. “Here’s your first week’s pay. I don’t do checks.”
I took the money. “Thanks,” I said genuinely.
